


Heart of Novocaine

by dark_moonflower



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Attraction, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Meetings, Flirting, Fluff, Jealousy, Pining, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 39,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_moonflower/pseuds/dark_moonflower
Summary: Its Friday and work was fucking horrific this week. Dani loves kids but Jesus they're a handful sometimes. She walks home through the park every day, it's a gorgeous day but with a little nip in the air. She stops and sits on a bench. The truth is, she's finding any reason possible not to go home. She takes her phone out of her jeans and opens up a text.To: Eddie [17.50pm]Going for a drink with the girls from work. Don't wait up.ORDani is engaged to Edmund but is avoiding going home to him. When she meets Jamie, she finally feels something other than numb.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 211
Kudos: 998





	1. look me eye and tell me you don't find me attractive

**Author's Note:**

> Another AU Dani/Jamie fic. This time I'm writing Dani. I have definite plans to continue this into multiple chapters.

Its Friday and work was fucking horrific this week. Dani loves kids but Jesus they're a handful sometimes. She walks home through the park every day, it's a gorgeous day but with a little nip in the air. She stops and sits on a bench. The truth is, she's finding any reason possible not to go home. She takes her phone out of her jeans and opens up a text. 

_To: Eddie [17.50pm]_

_Going for a drink with the girls from work. Don't wait up._

Its a lie. A big fat stinking lie that strangely enough she doesn't regret sending. Thats not right, is it? She looks around the park and spots a bar on the corner. It's as good a place as any, she supposes.

Inside the bar, its dark. There are plenty of people and the music is low and angry. Fitting to her mood right now, to be honest. She heads over to the bar and takes a seat on the nearest stool. She feels a presence in front of her. Usually she's not so rude but today, she just can't cope with pleasantries. 

"I'll have a vodka, neat... please."

"Coming right up." The bartenders voice is different. Husky, British. Dani looks up, but she's already turned around. All she can see is her curly brown hair that stops just above her shoulders. She keeps her gaze until she turns around. 

"Anythin' else?" The bartender asks as she smiles at Dani with just half of her mouth and put the glass down in front of her.

Dani smiles back at the woman, or rather, wants to smile back but the only thing she can manage is to curl the edge of her lips just a little. "No, thank you." 

She just nods and walks away. Part of Dani wished she stayed, just for a chat. She doesn't know who the hell this woman is but there's something about the way she carries herself that's intriguing. Dani watches the bartender as she changes some of the spirit bottles at the back of the bar. She can't see, so what's the harm? She's petit, slim. Her arms are toned and she suits wearing a baggy vest top and black jeans and chunky boots.

She takes a sip of her drink, it's strong, but thats good because after a few of these, she's hoping to forget everything. Dani spots in the mirrors that hang on the wall of the back of the bar that the woman is looking at her. _Shit._ How long has she been looking? Dani looks away quickly and drinks the rest of her vodka. 

"Would you like another?" The bartenders says as she approaches, her hands on the bar. 

"Sure. Yes please." Dani can't bring herself to make eye contact this time, but can feel her cheeks getting warmer.

"Comin' up" 

Dani looks up now her back is to her and she pours another vodka. So here's the thing, Dani has always known that she is attracted to women. Ever since she was a kid, she used to watch beautiful women on TV, but never has she met a woman in real life that makes her cheeks blush and heartbeat quicken just by simply serving her a damn drink. 

"Thank you." Dani looks up at her this time as the drink is placed on the bar, meeting her eyes. They're nice. Hazel. Inviting. The bartender smiles.

"This one's on the house." 

She turns to walk away and without meaning to, Dani opens her mouth "Why?" But she definitely didn't mean for it to come out so aggressive. The brunette walks back to her. 

"It looks like you need it, Poppins." 

"Poppins?" Dani raises her eyebrow at the statement, what does _that_ mean? 

"Yeah, like Mary Poppins. You know, cause you look after kids?" She smiles with just half her mouth again, and fuck, Dani really likes that. 

"How do you know I look after kids?" 

"Well.." She leans onto the bar, her face is closer to Dani this time. Dani's heart skips a beat and she looks down at the womans lips just briefly. "It might have something to do with this, Miss Clayton." She taps the name badge on Dani's jacket, which also has a school logo on.

Dani looks down at it, and holy shit, she already feels like just her tapping the name badge that's sitting on her chest turns her on more than Eddie ever has. 

"Oh.. yeah." And without realising it, she's smiling. A proper smile. She looks up again to meet the brunettes eyes, she's still leaning in close. "That's a dead giveaway isn't it?" 

"So, you meeting someone in here?" The bartender leans back up, still resting her hands on the bar though. 

"No, more like... avoiding someone." Dani looks down and places her hands on the bar, beginning to twirl the silver ring thats placed on her left ring finger. This peice of metal doesn't give her the feeling it should. 

"I see." The bartender saw the ring and takes a step back. "Boy troubles?" 

"I suppose you could say that."

"When's the big day?" It might just be in her mind but Dani thinks can hear disappointment in the womans voice. 

"In 3 weeks." She didn't sound much better herself. 

"Wow. Well I would say congratulations but you literally look like you would rather be doing anything but." The bartender raised her eyebrows at Dani and shrugged her shoulders. 

"It's complicated. I really don't want to think about it tonight." Dani picks up her drink and takes a sip. 

"No problem, Poppins. I'm Jamie, it's nice to meet ya."

Dani looks back up, meeting Jamie's gaze. She knows her name now, and has the urge to know more. "So, Jamie, how long have you worked here?" 

"Oh, I don't. I came in the back when I saw a pretty lady coming this way." Jamie looked serious. Until she smiled a big bright smile and laughed. "No, I actually don't work here, I'm just covering for a friend for an hour."

Dani laughs. "So this free drink..?" 

Jamie leans in closer again and whispers. "Yeah... you're actually a thief." 

"And to think I made it all these years having not stolen a thing. You are a bad influence, Jamie." Dani smiles and lightly bites her bottom lip.

"Yes, Miss Clayton, I most definitely am." Jamie responds. "So what are your plans for the evenin'?"

Dani sighs, shaking her head. "I honestly have no idea. Told Eddie not to wait up. So I suppose the world is my lobster."

"Poppins.. its Oyster. The world is your oyster." She laughs and Dani puts her head in her hands, laughing too but overwhelmingly embarrassed. The sound of Jamie's laugh though is like music, so its not all bad.

"Shit. Made myself look a complete moron there didn't I?" Dani looks back at Jamie, who's giving her that crooked smile again.

"Nah, you still look stunning." 

Dani feels her cheeks get warm, her stomach flutters in a way that she has never felt before. She can't help her smile as she maintains the eye contact. 

"I'm definitely gonna be using that though. Fuck the oysters, I want my world to be a lobster." Jamie breaks the silence.

The two laugh and Jamie stands up straight, she looks over to the door as it opens and in walks a woman, rushing it looks like. 

"Jamie, you're a star, thank you so much!" The woman walks around the bar and wraps her arms around Jamie's neck, planting a kiss on her lips and then giving her a hug.

Dani watches as it happens and can't help her facial expression dropping to one of disappointment. To her surprise though, Jamie is looking over the womans shoulder and to Dani. The woman rushes off into the back.

Jamie stands behind the bar pretty still, looking at Dani. 

"It was nice to meet you, Jamie." Dani finishes her drink and places the glass down as she stands up. "Thanks for the drink." She heads out of the door and onto the street. 

She literally had no right to feel the way she did when she saw that woman kissing Jamie. She's about to get married for gods sake, an attraction to a woman in a bar means nothing, right? 

"Poppins, wait." Dani turns around to see Jamie emerging from the door. "It really was.. Nice to meet you, I mean."

Dani smiles, her arms crossed. "Yeah.. it was. It was nice of you to do that for your.. friend." Dani wanted to scream. This is the first time she has felt _anything_ for so long. Attraction, want, excitement.

The thought of marrying Eddie had recently become one that sat in the pit of Dani's stomach, making her feel sick. It isn't because she doesn't love him. She does, just not in the way he needs her to. That wasn't Jamie's fault though, Jamie is the only person who has made her feel like she could be her true self, and in such a short amount of time.

Jamie frowns a little and opens her mouth to speak, but Dani cuts her off.

"I'm sorry. I'll.. uh, see you around, Jamie." Dani turns on her heel and walks away. She wants to, but she doesn't look over her shoulder. 


	2. make my black eyes blue, i fall for you

Every Saturday night was date night, one which Eddie took very seriously. 

"I'm just not sure I'm feeling up to it, is all." Dani spoke as she sat at her dressing table, looking in the mirror in front of her at the reflection of Eddie, who's sat on the bed behind her. 

"Come on, Dani. It's your favourite restaurant. I've booked the table and everything." Eddie puts on a sad puppy dog face and stares at her.

"Okay fine! You win." She smiled at him as he jumped up excitedly and left her to finish getting ready. Her smile quickly faded as he left the room and she put her head in her hands. 

This man is lovely. Sweet. Thoughtful and kind. But Dani is finding it harder to stay with him just for those reasons. She longs for something more, but she doesn't know what exactly. She shakes away the feeling and finishes her mascara. 

At the restaurant, the waiter greets them and shows them to their table. Its a dimly lit place, serving mainly Italian food and well known for their cocktails. The couple are well known here and taking their drinks order is something the waiter doesn't have to do, there's already a bottle of red and two glasses waiting for them at the table. Dani thanks the waiter and takes her seat opposite Eddie. 

"You look lovely tonight, Dani." Eddie says with a smile as he pours the wine into Dani's glass first.

Dani smiles back at him politely, her hand already holding onto the stem of the wine glass impatiently. She picks it up as soon as its full and brings it to her lips, taking a big drink of it. 

The waiter brings their starters shortly after and Dani wonders when her life had become so tedious. They don't even order anymore, the restaurant She tries to hide the look of boredom in her face and takes another big drink of wine. Surely there's more to life than this? But Eddie is all she has ever known. 

The two eat their food, exchanging light conversation about Eddie's family. Something Dani really didn't mind talking about because they had accepted her as part of their family many years ago when she was just a child. 

The night continues and Dani has relaxed into it, maybe its the wine? But she feels less on edge and its a nice feeling. 

"Remember when your mom took us on that trip when we were kids? We had to stay in the middle of a field in a tent that just refused to stay on the ground, the wi-" Dani stops talking suddenly as she notices two people walk into the restaurant. It's Jamie, from the bar, she's with that girl. The waiter shows them to a table a few rows back and to the side of where Dani and Eddie are sat. 

"Babe, you alright?" Eddie asks, placing his hand on top of Dani's. 

"Oh." Dani looks back at him. Her mouth is dry and she tries to play it cool. "Sorry, I got distracted there for a moment. I was just saying about the tent in the wind." She slides her hand away from Eddie's, grabbing her fork as an excuse.

"Yeah and my mom had to chase it. We couldn't move, we were laughing so hard." Eddie finished the story, which Dani was glad of. 

Dani looks over Eddie's shoulder again, she could see Jamie, who was facing her. They locked eyes and Jamie smiled at her with half her mouth. That smile that Dani remembered. She suddenly felt light headed, feeling her stomach flutter. She picked up her drink and finished it, quickly grabbing the bottle and filling it up again. 

"Are you okay, Dani?" He looks at her, concerned. 

"I'm fine. Um, excuse me a minute?" Dani smiled to reassure him and stood up. She looked over at Jamie again, who is staring at her whilst the woman she is with is busy talking to the waiter. Dani turns around and walks towards the opposite end of the room. 

She walks down a narrow corridor and into the ladies bathroom. The truth is, she hadn't been able to get Jamie out of her head since they met the day before. There was something between them. A connection maybe? Or could it have just been curiosity on Dani's part? All she knew at this point was that her heart was beating harder than it ever has before.

"Pull it together." She whispers to herself and turns a tap on, just to hear something other than her own mind screaming at her. She takes a deep breath and shakes her shoulders a little. She turns the tap off and walks out of the bathroom. 

As she turns down the corridor she comes face to face with Jamie, almost walking right into her. Jamie puts both her hands on Jamie's arms, as if catching her.

"Hey, Poppins."

Dani damn near melts at the sound of Jamie's voice. She can't keep the smile from spreading across her lips and her arms are tingling under the touch of Jamie's hands. "Hey."

Jamie takes a step back, her hands sliding into her pockets. "Fancy seeing you here, eh?"

"Yeah um.. it's date night." Dani shrugs just a little. She feels a little embarrassed for some reason. Maybe because it was only yesterday that she was telling Jamie that she didn't want to go home and was avoiding her fiancé. 

"Well I hope you're not planning on stealing anything from here. I'm not so sure they're as nice as me, you see." Jamie winks, that half smile on her face again.

"I'll do my best." Dani laughs. They haven't taken their eyes off eachother and Dani feels like their surroundings have disappeared. This is until a waitress approaches, heading to the bathroom. Dani and Jamie are stood infront of the bathroom door. 

"Excuse me." The waitress says politely. 

Jamie steps forwards, her hands on Dani's arms again, pushing her gently towards the wall. The corridor is narrow and their bodies are very nearly pressed together. Dani's breath trembles and she looks right at Jamie's lips, they look soft, and before she knows it, she is imagining what it would be like to kiss them. 

"Listen, Poppins." Jamie takes a step to the side where there's more room. "I don't know you, but I feel like you need someone to talk to. I wouldn't mind being that person.. if you want."

Dani raises an eyebrow at her.

"We could just get a drink sometime, ya know?" Jamie stands there, hands back in her pockets.

"I'm not sure, Jamie. I mean, that's very nice of you but-"

"Think about it, Miss Clayton." And with that, Jamie turns and heads back to her table. Dani follows shortly after, suddenly realising that Eddie is still sat at the table and she doesn't know how long she's been gone. 

Jamie looks at Dani as she sits down, a small smile gracing her lips. Eddie noticed. 

"Who's that then?" He asked, nodding his head towards Jamie. 

"Oh thats um.. Jamie.. from work." Dani lied. She couldn't exactly explain that she is a woman she'd met in a bar who she is insanely attracted to and can't stop thinking about, could she? Eddie accepted the explanation with no questions. Her stood from his chair and went to the bar to pay the bill.

Whilst he was gone, Jamie took a pen from her bag and a napkin from the table. She quickly wrote: ' _Dani x' a_ nd her telephone number. She folded it in her hand just before Eddie came back.

"Ready?" He asked.

Dani stood up and as if by fate, the woman that Jamie came in with had left the brunette alone at the table. Dani had to walk past the table to leave the restaurant. She already knew Jamie was looking at her and as she passed, she dropped the napkin on the table in front of Jamie. 

When they got outside, Dani looked back. Its nice, she thought, that someone recognised that she needed someone to talk to. It could be good for her. Or... it could be very fucking dangerous. Either way, she wanted to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments are welcome! Hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Chapter title from: Corey Taylor - Black Eyes Blue


	3. when everything's made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am

Dani woke on Sunday morning with a banging headache. She had insisted on staying up later last night to read a book and drink more wine. Eddie went to bed alone, but not before practically begging her to join him. Dani ended the conversation with a serious tone to her voice and he gave in. 

The night was slow, she drank alone at the island in the kitchen and her mind wandered. She barely made it through 1 chapter of her book in total. Most of the time spent checking her phone, hoping it would either ring or a text would come through. It never did. It was frustrating beyond belief.

Dani grumbled through her headache and rolled over. Eddie wasn't there. His Sunday mornings usually consisted of playing golf followed by a fishing trip. Dani cherished her time alone actually, although she was usually expected to make sure all the house work was done and dinner was on the table ready for him when he got back.

Not today. Not to-fucking-day. Dani gets up, spends some time showering and getting ready before deciding on a walk in the cold, but certainly not before gulping down 2 asprin to nurse her hangover. 

She walks down the street, the place is so familiar that she doesn't even need to think about where she is walking. That's when the thought creeps into her mind again, every single day is planned out. She knows what she will be doing every single day. Where is the adventure? The excitement? She walks, arms crossed, eyes on the ground most of the time and let's her mind wander. 

She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and removes it. 

_From: +102377928 [10:48am]_

_So, your real name is Dani, eh Poppins?_

Dani stopped walking abruptly as she read the message. A smile creeped over her lips and she almost didn't feel the small child walk right into the back of her. 

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." Lucky for her, the little girl just laughs at Dani and runs off, her parents chasing shortly after. Kids are strange.

Dani walks over to some trees and decides to take a seat on the grass, leaning her back against one. 

_To: Jamie [10:51am]_

_Indeed it is. But I think I prefer your name for me._

_From: Jamie [10:52am]_

_Well why wouldn't you? Its practically perfect. Anyway, Miss Clayton, how's it going? Did you enjoy your date night?_

A prang of guilt hits Dani's stomach like a brick when she reads that message. She can't be honest and say what she wants to say, that part of her wishes it was Jamie sat opposite her at the meal, or that part of her wishes it was Jamie begging her to go to bed with her last night. 

_To: Jamie [10.54am]_

_Yes, thank you. I drank too much though and I am paying for it today. What about you?_

_From: Jamie [10:55am]_

_That's a shame, I was going to suggest a day time drink._

Dani, as she does, reads way too much into that. She didn't answer her question about her date night and could only imagine what it was like. But she also couldn't help her smile when she read over it again.

_To: Jamie [10:57am]_

_When and where?_

_From: Jamie [10:58]_

_Half an hour. Portal 13._

Dani knew where that was. A small bar in town, somewhere Eddie would never entertain the thought of going. Says there's _'too much noise, how can they call that music?'_ But not everyone listens to 70s music, and why should Dani? 

Half an hour passes quickly and Dani walks down the street to the bar. She can see Jamie leaning against the wall outside. Dani takes her in. Light blue jeans, black doc marten boots, black band tshirt and a cigarette in her mouth. She looks peaceful, like she knows what she's doing with her life. A feeling that Dani was missing. 

"Poppins! Hey." Jamie pushes herself off the wall and meets Dani part way. She takes another puff of her cigarette, before offering it to Dani. 

"Hey. Thanks." Before Dani knew what she was doing, she was bringing the cigarette to her mouth. She had done this a few times before but Eddie hated it. 

Jamie is looking at her with that crooked smile. She runs a hand through her brown curls and takes the cigarette back, putting it out on the wall and into the ashtray on the window cill. 

"Come on then." Jamie pushes the door open and let's Dani in first. The bar is dark, it smells like beer and smoke and the music is low, nothing like what it was usually like whenever Dani had walked past before. See, this is a rock bar, frequented by bikers, bands and people who enjoyed live, loud music. 

"Steve. Two IPA's please." Jamie ordered both of their drinks and just her taking control like that made Dani's stomach flutter. "Wanna get a table?" Jamie asked. 

Dani nodded and turned around. She walked to a booth in the corner of the room and sat down. The walls were covered in memorabilia, guitars, drum sticks, posters. She spots the ashtray on the table and realises that Jamie had waited outside for her when she didn't have to. 

"Anyone would think you wanted us to have some privacy, Poppins." Jamie said with a smirk as she placed the bottles down on the table. Dani felt her cheeks get a little warm. She didn't think she had picked a more secluded part of the bar on purpose, but maybe she did subconsciously. 

"Oh, I.. I didnt realise. We can move, if you'd rather..?"

"I'm just fuckin' with ya, Poppins." Jamie sat down opposite Dani as she spoke and pushed a bottle infront of her. Dani picked it up and pressed it to her lips, watching as Jamie did the same. A surprising taste, not one she had tried before. But nice. 

"So Jamie, tell me something about you. You already know enough about me." Dani sat back in the seat, one hand on her lap and the other on the table, holding the bottom of her bottle loosely.

"My _least_ favourite subject. But if you insist." Jamie rests her elbows on the table and leans forward, looking right into Dani's eyes. "I'm a wanted felon. Shh." She whispers. 

Dani laughs, like, really laughs. And it feels like it's been so long since she hadn't faked a laugh. Jamie looks at her, a big smile on her face and she sits back. 

"I'm actually a gardener. Moved here a few months back from sunny ol' England. I do some freelance work too, but really my life is pretty boring." And she doesn't look displeased with that. She looks happy to say her life is boring, but Dani is so unhappy with her boring life at the moment.

"You like to be bored?" Dani asks quite seriously, hoping to gain some insight. 

"I don't like to be let down. So I don't put myself into situations where that could happen. At least, not usually, anyway." Jamie picks up her drink and takes a swig. Dani thinks it could be to hide her facial expression. 

"How long have you been with your girlfriend?" Dani asks, and quickly regrets it. 

Jamie looks at her, one side of her mouth curling into a smile. Dani feels her stomach flutter again. That smile is quickly becoming one of her favourite things to see. 

"Are you jealous, Poppins?" Jamie laughs and drinks more of her drink. "We have been seeing eachother for a little while. What about you and Prince Charming?" She leans her elbows on the table again. 

" _Forever._ We officially started dating in high school, but we have been best friends since before I can remember." 

"That's nice." Jamie says, but she doesn't try to hide that she is lying. 

"Yeah. I just feel like.. my entire life has been planned out for me. I've never had a chance to find out who I really am. I've never been able to just go into a bar on my own or have a friend that Eddie doesn't know." Dani sighs, pulling her drink up again. She hadn't looked at Jamie throughout speaking, but when she looks over at her now, Jamie is frowning a little. "I'm sorry, I sound so selfish."

Jamie reaches a hand out and puts it on top of Dani's. "No. You don't." Jamie pulls her hand away. She clears her throat and sits back. "Can I ask you a personal question, Dani?"

Dani nods.

"Do you really _want_ to marry him?" 

They're silent, just staring at eachother. Dani feels her eyes well up a little. How is she supposed to know what she wants? She had felt out of place for a long while now and couldn't figure out why. She had always felt like she was meant to have a life with Eddie, but something was missing. Something big. 

"Eddie is my best friend. He's all I've ever known. He's a good man and only wants the best for me." Dani finally manages. But its not an answer to the question. 

Jamie smiles, different to usual. She looks a bit sad, actually. She finishes her drink and stands up, taking Dani by the hand and pulling her to her feet. "Come with me."

Dani follows. They walk past the bar and Jamie tells Steve to have another round ready for them when they get back. They walk through the back of the bar and out of a door into a small courtyard with a bench. Jamie sits on the table, her boots resting on the seat below and she pats the space next to her. 

"Sit with me. I won't bite." Jamie smiles. "Not _too_ hard, anyway."

Dani laughs shyly, the thought of Jamie biting her sears into her brain, but she knows that thought shouldn't be there. She takes a seat next to Jamie, their arms touching lightly. Jamie takes out her cigarettes and lights one, passing it to Dani. 

"Eddie would kill me if he knew I was smoking." Dani took a drag and handed it back. As Jamie took it, she let her fingers rest against Dani's, lingering as she stared into her eyes. Dani shifted her eyes to Jamie's lips just for a second before quickly looking away. 

Jamie chuckled and pushed her shoulder gently into Dani's. "Well it's a good thing Eddie isn't here then isn't it?" 

Dani smiled and nodded her head. She suddenly felt sick with guilt. Guilt because of the way her head swam at the touch of Jamie's fingers against her. Guilt because of how much she wanted to taste Jamie's lips. It was silly really, because this was just a crush. Jamie has a girlfriend and isn't interested in anything more. Right? Dani took a deep breath in and breathed out like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

"Where is he then? Eddie?" Jamie asks between drags of her cigarette. 

"Golf. And then fishing. Every Sunday."

"He leaves you on your own every Sunday to play golf? Wow. What a wanker." Jamie laughed.

Dani raised her eyebrow, unsure what Jamie meant. "Wanker?" 

Jamie laughed again. "It doesn't matter. I just mean... I cant beleive he chooses to spend his Sundays doing that when he could be with you." 

"To be honest, I appreciate the space." Dani smiles and rests her elbows on her thighs, leaning forward on them a little.

"Yeah I got that impression on Friday." Jamie puts put the cigarette in an ashtray and jumps off the bench. She stands in front of Dani and holds out her hand. "Well you know, I'm here if you ever fancy a little bit less space."

Dani takes her hand and hops down from the bench, they're face to face now and Jamie squeezes her hand harder. It feels as though time stands still for a moment as Dani looks into Jamie's eyes, she wishes she knew what she was thinking. They're both brought back to earth when Dani's phone begins to ring and she jumps. She takes it from her pocket..

"It's Eddie." Dani says, looking at Jamie. The brunette sighs and just nods, taking a few steps away so Dani can answer. "Hello?... No, I'm out... Just having a drink with a friend..." Dani looks over at Jamie, who's standing a few feet away, one hand in her pocket and the other leaning against a wall. She finds herself distracted at the sight, but Eddie is still speaking in her ear. "I didn't know until this morning... I don't know what time I'll be home yet.. okay, bye" 

Dani puts her phone away and walks over to Jamie. "I need another drink." 

Jamie smiles and nods. "Whatever you want, love."

The conversation with Eddie was frustrating. He grilled her on why he hadn't been told yesterday that she was going out and asked who she was with. Maybe she should have been honest, but he was out with his friends so why shouldn't she be allowed to do what she wanted with her time. 

Jamie leads them back into the bar, collecting the drinks from Steve on the way and they sit back in the booth. 

"Y'alright, Poppins?" Jamie asks with concern in her voice. It's at that point Dani realises she hadn't stopped frowning since the phone call. 

Dani nods. The next couple of hours dissappear so fast as they talk about what seems like everything. America, England, flowers, school kids, whether they beleive in the paranormal. It's spent laughing and drinking. Jamie had taken all the stress and worry out of Dani's mind today and it made her feel lighter. Dani notices the bar had filled with people and the music had become louder. The time on her phone that sat on the table read 17:12.

"Oh shit. I'd better go." Dani grabs her jacket that she had taken off at some point and stood up. A little too quickly it seems as she lost her balance a little. Before she knew it, Jamie was beside her, one arm around her waist. "Oops, didn't realise how much I'd drank." 

Jamie laughed. "I suppose since I'm the bad influence that it's my fault huh?" 

Dani looked at Jamie with a smile. Their faces close. She doesn't even try to hide that she's looking at her lips and the only thing running through her mind is how much she wants to kiss them. Jamie is sweet though, she just smiles and hands Dani her phone before they walk to the door together. Jamie stops as they get outside. 

"Are you not going home?" Dani asks.

"I kind of live up there." Jamie points to a window above the bar. "Little flat above the pub." 

Dani looks up, finding herself wondering what Jamie's flat is like. She folds her arms across her torso and smiles. "Okay, well, thank you. I'll see you." 

"See ya, Poppins." 

Dani turned and walked away, she smiled the whole walk home. Maybe the connection with Jamie was just what she needed. They are both in relationships, but maybe they could become good friends. But is the attraction and the not so innocent thoughts that cloud Dani's mind a problem? She figured it was a problem that she was happy to confront head on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter title from: The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris


	4. you took it all, but i'm still breathing

Monday morning. Dani rolls over and swipes the alarm notification on her phone away. She rubs her eyes and sits up on the side of the bed. 

The night before, Eddie was already at home waiting when she got back. He spent a solid hour complaining that his dinner wasn't done. The evening ended in an explosive row, the last words she spoke to Eddie before storming off to the bedroom still hot on her tongue.

_"I am not your property, Eddie. You don't own me. If this the way the rest of our life is going to be, well I don't want to be a part of it."_

A picture frame that fell off the wall with the slam of the bedroom door lays broken on the floor. Dani walks over to it and picks it up, collecting the shards of broken glass carefully. She places it on the dresser and heads into the adjoining bathroom to get ready for work.

Dani leaves the house an hour later. Either Eddie had already left for work or he went out and didn't come home. Either way she was still too mad to give a damn right now. She walks down the street and in through the school gates. Game face time. 

"Good morning, Miss Clayton. How are we this fine morning?" Its Owen, the head teacher of the school. He's a chirpy British man, always cracking jokes but Dani loves it.

"Great thanks, Owen. How are you?" Dani smiles, but she can hear the question in his voice.

"Very well. But I have a favour to ask." Owen puts his arm over Dani's shoulder and walks her towards the side of the school, stopping before the greenhouses and garden that admittedly looks a lot to be desired. "We are hiring people to fix this up. It's a mess and there's a study that shows plants and flowers and a nice place to sit or even maintain helps kids with concentration and lowering stress levels. They start this week and there will be a team of 3 of them, but I need someone to show them around and potentially help out. Are you up for it?" Owen looks at her, a big smile on his face.

Dani looks around the area and nods her head. "Sure. I've never gardened in my life but sure, for the kids, I'll do it." 

"Knew I could count on you! Thank you, Dani." Owen claps his hands together and the school bell goes in the background. "Right. Off to it then. Kids aren't gonna teach themselves!"

They walk back to the school together and the events of the night before disappear from her mind. School had always been a great distraction for her. At the front of her class, Dani sits behind her desk, instructing the children to read the last chapter of "Of Mice and Men", today was the last day of reading it before they watch the movie, which the kids were happy about. 

The school day passes quickly, which Dani is happy about because she feels exhausted. Everything about her life at the moment is exhausting. From trying to figure herself out to planning a wedding that she isn't 100% sure is the right thing for her. 

The walk back to her house is longer than usual, probably because she chose to sit on a bench in the park again for 15 minutes. When she gets home, Eddie is sitting at the kitchen table, a bouquet of flowers in front of him. He stands quickly and picks up the flowers. 

"I'm sorry, Dani." He closes the gap between them and hands her the flowers. "I shouldn't have kept on about it. I understand you're stressed." 

Dani frowns. He just apologised, but then blamed it on her. She pushes the flowers back into his chest and steps back. Her usual patient and kind manner snaps and she feels like her blood is boiling under her skin. "No, Eddie, I'm not stressed. I'm bored. I am so fucking bored of my life. Of this house. Of... us." She definitely didn't mean it to come out as harsh and straight to the point as that and she watches as Eddie's face drops. 

"Of us? So, what, you're breaking up with me?" He asks, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"No!.. I.. don't know, Eddie. It's complicated."

"How the fuck is it complicated, Dani? You either want to marry me, or you don't. Which is it?" He snaps back. 

"I love you, Eddie, I do, but I cant keep lying to myself. Or to you. It's not fair on either of us." Dani feels her eyes well up, for the first time she is about to be honest with him, with herself. And its overwhelming. 

"Lying about what?" Eddie's eyes fill up too. 

"I.. think. No, I know.. I don't feel _that_ way about you.. about men in general." Dani can't bring herself to look at him. She can't bring herself to move her eyes at all. The room is silent. Eddie drops the flowers to the floor and walks towards the front door. "I'm so sorry, Eddie." Dani shouts after him, tears now falling from her eyes. The front door slams shut and Eddie is gone. 

An hour passes and Dani still hasn't moved from the same spot she was standing earlier, except now she is sitting on the floor. Her tears have dried, but she feels the weight of guilt sitting in the pit of her stomach, so much so she thinks she may actually be sick. The night passes slowly and she eventually makes her way to the bedroom and lies on the bed. She wakes at 5am, the sun only just threatening it's rise.

She gets up and decides to have an early start. The shower feels nice on her skin, and although the pain in her stomach is still there, she feels different. There's no sign of Eddie in the house and his car is gone. Dani leaves the house at 7am to head to the school, 2 hours before she needs to be there. She stops by a coffee shop on the way.

At the school, the gate is already open and there's a pick up truck parked at the side of the building. That's when Dani remembers that Owen said there were gardeners on site this week. She welcomed the new role she had been given for the week and headed over to the truck, where a tall man stood.

"Hi, you're the gardener I take it?" Dani asks softly. 

The man turns around quickly, startled. "Oh, one of them, yes ma'am." The man blushes and holds out his hand. "My name is Kyle." 

Dani shakes his hand. "Dani. Nice to meet you." She forces a smile and goes to turn around, but is surprised when she hears movement on the gravel behind her. 

" _Poppins_?" 

Dani smiles for real this time and turns around, face to face now with Jamie who is giving her that half smile that she loves so much. It's a welcome sight and God does she need it right now.

"Well damn, what a small world. How you doing?" Jamie places the buckets she had in her hands on the ground and steps forward. Her smile suddenly dissappears as she notices Dani's eyes. Heavy, red. "Whoa, what's the matter?" Jamie's hands rest on Dani's shoulders and she pushes her back a couple of steps and away from Kyle who hasn't taken his eyes off Dani yet. 

"Um, nothing, just not had much sleep." Dani lied. She puts on a smile. "It turns out I'm your escort for the week." 

Jamie beams a smile. "Lucky me. And Kyle apparently." Jamie looks over Dani's shoulder at Kyle and shouts. "Oi! Eyes back in, dick 'ed." She laughs and Kyle rushes off. 

Dani laughs. She already feels better in the gardeners company.

"Looks like I've got some competition, eh?" Jamie laughs and picks up the buckets. 

They walk together over to the gardens and to where Jamie has set up a table with her plans drawn out. Dani listening intently as she explains what they'll be doing this week. Jamie even pours Dani a tea out of the thermal flask she brought with her and they walk around the garden together slowly. 

Dani contemplates telling Jamie about her and Eddie, but decides against it. It's too heavy for this moment. She still hasn't spoken to Eddie since last night and has no idea where he is. 

"So yep, basically thats going to be the end result. What do you think?" They made a full circle of the garden and are back at the table now. 

"It sounds perfect. You're an artist." Dani smiles. And she meant it. The way Jamie spoke about it, with the children in mind, it made Dani's heart ache. She hadn't taken her eyes off Jamie the whole time and wondered if it was obvious. It didn't matter, Jamie has a girlfriend. 

"Thank you, Miss Clayton. Better get started then hadn't we?"

The rest of the day flies by. Dani shows the group of gardeners around the school and spends a good portion of the day filling Jamie's flask with hot water. She wasn't allowed to make the tea after the first time. Damn near killed Kyle as he choked on it. 

Jamie and the group packed up her truck and got in. Dani stood beside the drivers side door, her arm resting on the open window as she looked in at Jamie.

"So, tomorrow?" She asks, feeling her cheeks blush.

"Tomorrow, Poppins." Jamie replies with her signature smile and Dani can't help but melt into it. 

She backs away from the car and turns around. It was at that point she realised that it was the best day she had had for a long time and she didn't think the smile on her face would ever leave. As she turns to walk back to the school, the smile on her face quickly disappears. Eddie is stood there. Her heart stops for a moment and she stills. He walks towards her, his brows furrowed. She notices the packed bag in his hand.

"So, that's who you've been fucking behind my back, is it?" Eddie snaps.

Dani frowns. "No, Eddie! I haven't cheated on you." 

"I don't beleive you, Danielle. I saw the way you were looking at eachother. I just.. I can't beleive you. I gave you everything." Eddie takes a deep breath and for a moment it looks like he might cry. "I'm leaving. I don't want to hear from you or see you again." 

Eddie walks away, out of the gates and to his car. Dani watches, and she figures this would be the moment to cry, but she doesn't. If anything, she feels a weight off. Back at the school she can see Owen stood watching. He heads her way and wraps his arms around her. 

"Are you okay, Dani?" There's concern in his voice. And realises that Eddie must have told him everything. 

"What did he tell you?" Dani says as she steps back. 

"Uh.. I mean it's none of my business. But he told me everything."

Why would he do that? Out her to her boss before she has had a chance to tell her family? Owen was more than her boss anyway, more like her best friend, but still, Eddie had the intention of hurting her. 

"Got to be honest though, I wasn't too surprised. Not that I told _him_ that." Owen smiled. 

Later that evening, Dani cleared up the mess Eddie made at home. There was a sense of calm though, like she was finally free. That night, she slept better than she had in so long. Her working week was different, she had been given the task of assisting Jamie's team and also had to finish the plans for the end of term ball. Something that up until this point she hadn't been looking forward to. 

She walked to work early again, getting some time in her classroom to organise more details for the party. Ordering the food and booking the DJ. Decorations had already been sorted. The kids were aged between 11 and 15, a relatively small school in a small town so the parents all helped out. The evening always went down well. 

Dani sat with her laptop, she yawned and sat back in her chair. 

"Another late night eh, Poppins?" 

Dani jumped a little, looking over at the door where Jamie stood leaning against the door frame. She pushed herself off the frame and walked into the classroom, plonking herself down on the chair sat facing Dani. 

"Hey!" Dani exclaimed, way too excitedly. But she would be lying if she told herself she wasn't looking forward to seeing Jamie again. 

"I brought you a tea." Jamie puts the takeaway cup infront of her. "And a muffin. Because I am just _that_ thoughtful." She places a brown bag infront of her too. 

Dani smiles, her heart simply flutters. "Thats so nice of you, thanks. I didn't bring you anything." 

"Hey, I don't give to receive, love." Jamie sips her tea and stands up. "I'll see you out there, then?" 

Dani nods. She watches as Jamie leaves the classroom, feeling like a school kid with a crush. She notices Owen's face peeking through the window in the classroom opposite her, a massive smile on his face, looking like the cat who had got the fucking cream. He opens the door and enters Dani's class. 

"Does someone have a crush on the gardener?" He laughs. 

"Shut up!" Dani picks up a pen and throws it at him. 

"Here's an idea. Invite her to the party on Friday. The rest of her team too, if that makes it less awkward." Owen sits on the edge of one of the school tables, arms folded. He's loving this. 

"Really? Would that not be...weird?" Dani asks, but she already knows she is 100% going to do that. Any excuse to see her as much as possible. 

Owen shakes his head. "Nope!" He stands and leaves the room, singing on his way out and down the hall. " _Dani and Jamie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.._ " 

Dani shakes her head but can't help her laugh. She opens the brown bag and takes out the muffin, sighing happily as she begins to eat it.

The rest of the day goes quickly again, but Dani feels a little different. She gets nervous every time she thinks about asking Jamie to the dance on Friday. She gets equally nervous when she thinks about telling Jamie that her and Eddie broke up. What might her reaction be? It wouldn't matter anyway, she supposes. 

Dani is knelt by a flower bed, pulling up some soil and planting buds. 

"Kyle! Stop staring. Seriously man, she's not interested." Jamie shouts from the other side of the garden. She looks over at Dani and winks. And she's a little far away but Dani swears she saw the gardener bite her lip. 

Dani stands up and walks back to the table thats been set up again, she leans down on it and looks at the plans. Jamie walks over and stands beside her, her hands also leaning on the table and her little finger touching Dani's. They look at eachother for what seems like forever and Dani thinks there's no better time than this. 

"I have to ask you something." She stands up straight and clears her throat. "We are having a school ball on Friday night. Would you like to come?" Dani looks down at the ground.

"Poppins, you _flirt."_ Jamie laughs. "Are you asking me on a date?" There's a tone to her voice that makes Dani relax a little. "Just kidding. Sure! I'd love to." 

"Great, you can bring the guys. They're welcome too." 

"Oh, Kyle is gonna love that!" Jamie laughs. 

Dani smiles, and it's at this moment she realises she is staring. She shakes her head. "Uh.. yeah. I'll um, I better finish up over there." 

Jamie watches as she walks away, chuckling to herself.

When the end of the day arrives, Dani sticks around for some overtime. She has too much to do and there's no point in being at home, so she sits behind her desk. The sun is setting and the classroom is painted orange in its evening rays. Dani hasn't looked up from her laptop in probably an hour and her eyes have glazed over. She is broken from the trance when her phone buzzes on the desk. 

_From: Jamie [18.24pm]_

_Thanks for your help this week._

_To: Jamie [18.24pm]_

_It's been my pleasure._

_From: Jamie [18.25pm]_

_Pleasure? If that's your view on pleasure, well I've got a lot to teach you, lady. ;)_

Dani blushes. And it makes no sense because it's not as if Jamie can see her right now. She bites her lip and decides; it's game on. She has never been much of a flirter, and she might not be very good at it, but she will damn well try.

_To: Jamie [18.26pm]_

_I wouldn't mind if you were my teacher._

_From: Jamie [18.26pm]_

_Blimey. Anytime you want, Poppins._

_To: Jamie [18.27pm]_

_Don't tempt me._

Dani decides it's time to go home. To sleep, at the very least. Tomorrow is Wednesday and another long day ahead. She walks home, her mind racing. She hasn't spoken to anyone about Eddie yet, and she wasn't sure if he had either. Apart from Owen of course. Her mom would be furious, Eddie's mom heartbroken, and none of her family would understand. But right now she is taking her time to _feel_. To really try to understand what it is she wants and what her potential future holds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one I feel is a little lacking in something. I felt like I had to post it though. Sorry if its a bit shit! Trying to tell another story with the songs I use in the titles too.
> 
> Chapter Title from: Sia - Alive


	5. but it's us i see and i cannot believe i'm falling

Dani wakes on Thursday morning with a fresh sense of relief. Her muscles ache from the previous two days manual labour in the garden at school, but it's a welcome feeling, different to the numbness she had felt for as long as she could remember when she woke up next to Eddie. 

After a showering and getting ready, she leaves the house. This time she decides she wants to surprise Jamie with a cup of tea, as she did for her the day before. Let's be honest, Americans know nothing about tea, so when Dani is faced with a range of choices in the local coffee shop, she opts for the conveniently named 'English Breakfast'. 

Arriving at work early again, she spots Jamie's truck and smiles to herself. 

"English breakfast?" She holds a cup out to Jamie, who beams back at her and takes the cup. 

"My favourite, Miss Clayton. How did you know?" 

"It was a guess to be honest. How many tea varieties do you Brits want?" Dani laughs. She spots Kyle over Jamie's shoulder and smiles at him. "Morning!" She shouts. He smiles back at her and offers a shy wave, before walking away. 

"Oh, you meanie." Jamie laughs. "The guy won't shut up about you, yanno. Completely infatuated. Keep telling him though.. you're taken, and would totally pick me over him even if you weren't." 

Dani laughs. "I'm afraid only one of those statements is true." 

Jamie raises an eyebrow at her, confused. Dani knew it would throw her off, but rather than come out and say it, decided she wanted to let Jamie make her own mind up. Of course she knew Jamie might take it to mean she isn't interested in her, but Dani was also giving off the signals that she was. So yes, confused was the right reaction. 

"Enjoy your tea, I'll see you later." Dani smiled and turned to head back towards the school. 

In her classroom, Dani finishes her plans for the school disco in around half an hour, and when she looks up at the door, Jamie is stood leaning against the frame, arms folded and a rather serious look on her face. 

"So there's one of two things that have happened here, Poppins." Jamie steps into the room. "Either I have read this situation entirely wrong and you don't undress me with your eyes everytime you look at me, or.." She leans with her hands on the desk, facing Dani. "Or.. and this is less likely.. you have called off the wedding." 

Dani leans back in her chair. She looks at Jamie and offers a small smile. It didn't take the gardener long to come asking questions, and Dani was glad of that.

"I ended things on Monday night." 

Jamie stands up straight and let's out a huff. "Monday? Jesus, are you okay?" 

Dani smiles and nods her head. "I actually am. I was honest with him about everything. Obviously he hates me now and has left, but I had to do the right thing. I wouldn't have been fair on him." 

"I'm glad you're alright. Little bit pissed you haven't told me until now, but glad you're alright." Jamie nods as she speaks, her hands sliding into her pockets.

"I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you right after it happened. But I had to figure stuff out for myself." Dani is honest about it, but keeps the rest of what she wanted to say to herself. Like the fact that Jamie has a girlfriend so its not as if anything could happen between them. 

Jamie smiles. She doesn't say anything else, just walks towards the door. She looks back at Dani and stares for a moment, before leaving. 

Dani spends the majority of the day flitting between helping in the gardens and back in the school, dealing with the transformation of the gymnasium. The theme is Black Tie. The school go all out for these events so the decorations were next level. Tables draped in crisp white sheets with black place mats and centre pieces, arches of black, white and silver balloons. They chose a deep red to add a pop of colour, and the gym looked completely different to its usual tired and dusty self. 

Dani is secretly pleased with herself, and her colleagues of course, but they appreciated that her obsessive need for organisation helped these things run smoothly so we're more than happy for her to take the lead. 

The gardens were almost finished too. Dani walked back outside to see Jamie and the guys packing the truck up. 

"Well, we are pretty much done here. Kyle will be back in the morning to finish a couple of bits in the back, but other than that. Job done." Jamie smiles. She's leaning against her truck.

Dani hears what she is saying but is distracted, looking at the gardener and wondering how the hell someone can look so sexy with their face and overalls covered in mud. She clears her throat and nods. "Okay, well it looks great. You guys truly are amazing. Thank you." 

"You helped, Poppins." Jamie gives her that half smile and Dani can't help but stare. "See you tomorrow night?" 

"Yes. Tomorrow night. It's black tie." Dani smiles and watches as Jamie gets into her truck, the 2 men she works with following. 

With one arm out of the window, Jamie winks at her. "Looking forward to it."

Dani gives a little wave as they drive off. 

\- 

On Friday, the school closes early to allow the kids and teachers to get ready for the night. Dani had her things ready the night before so when Hannah, Owen's wife, picked her up from home, they could go to their place and get ready together there. Hannah is the school counsellor and such a great friend. She knew _everything_ about _everyone_ and Dani was no exception to this. Hannah is driving when she strikes up the conversation about the news of Dani and Eddie splitting up. 

"You deserve to be happy, Dani. Eddie was a nice man but he was holding you back." She smiled and Dani knew that even if her own family disowned her, she had the family she _chose_ right beside her. 

They arrived at Owen and Hannah's house and the headteacher already had drinks waiting for them. 

"Welcome, ladies, to Owen's salon. Where you do your own hair and makeup and I entertain you through the medium of jokes and alcoholic beverages!" 

Dani laughs and accepts the drink. She can pretend to be sober if needs be. Hannah, a little more reserved, shakes her head with a smile and reluctantly sips the wine. 

"So, the gardener huh?" Owen nudges Dani, his eyebrows raising up and down repeatedly as he teases her. 

"What about her?" Dani blushes a little and takes a big gulp of her wine. 

"I bet you wouldn't mind kissing her tu-lips, would you?" Owen laughs heartily at his own joke. 

"Owen!" Dani swats him on the arm and laughs. "...but no, as it goes." 

Hannah and Dani sit by a large mirror doing their makeup whilst Owen plays music, already patiently waiting in his 3 peice tux. Hannah comments on how lovely he looks every time she sees him, says it reminds her of their wedding day. 

Dani stands and heads to the spare bedroom to change. She chose a black almost knee length dress with lace long sleeves and a pair of simple black shoes. Her blonde hair down, different to her usual up do. It waves in the perfect way to frame her face. She enters the living room where Hannah and Owen wait.

"You look beautiful, dear." Hannah smiles at her. She had gotten changed too and wears a deep red dress. 

Dani picks up her bag and checks her phone. She sees a text message from about an hour ago.

_From: Jamie [17.12pm]_

_I hope you know I plan on spiking the punch._

Dani laughs and pretends she can't see Owen and Hannah looking at her. She puts her phone in her bag and they leave, getting in a taxi back to the school. These evenings usually end in the 3 of them and some of the other teachers hitting the town. 

Naturally, the teachers arrive first. Hannah, Owen and Dani meet Rebecca at the DJ booth, she is of course flirting with the guy. 

"Becca, leave the guy alone!" Dani shouts up at her, laughing. 

The 4 of them have some pictures taken together in the photo booth they hired before the kids arrive. Dani finds herself watching the time, she didn't actually know what time Jamie would be getting there, but now that all the kids were arriving, it would surely be soon.

Becca and Dani stand by the entrance, greeting kids as they arrive, along with their families and other members of the community. It wasn't just a school kid thing, they really put on a show each year. 

"Sorry about you and Eddie, by the way." Becca whispers to Dani. She hadn't mentioned it until now and Dani was grateful. Becca is a good friend, but she _hated_ Eddie. 

"I'm not." Dani smiles back at her. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jamie enter with Kyle and her other co-worker, Dani now realises she doesn't even know the other guys name, but he was always working whenever she arrived. 

When she looks properly, she can't help her mouth falling open a little. Jamie is wearing a slim fitting womens black tux, a white shirt underneath which is only buttoned to the centre of her breastbone and chunky heeled chelsea boots. The tux jacket is held together not by buttons, but a gold chain. Her brown curls are pinned back messily, but in such a good looking and purposeful way.

"Dani?" Becca says, nudging the blonde with her elbow. Dani gasps and shakes her head. Becca follows her gaze. "Oh.. oh my, Owen was right. The gardener is _hot_!" Becca laughs and Dani looks at her with a smile. 

Jamie heads their way, her half smile burning into Dani's heart. "Wow, Poppins, you look... incredible." She leans in and kisses Dani on the cheek. 

Dani feels her head spin and her knees go weak. Her cheeks blush and she accidentally let's a girlish giggle escape her lips. "Thank you. You look.. great." She meant it, but she really wishes she chose a different word. 

Jamie laughs. "I can scrub up when I need to." She turns her gaze to Becca. "Hi. I'm Jamie." And she holds out her hand. Becca accepts.

"I'm Rebecca. Becca." Dani swears she can see her blush too. Not that she is surprised. But she wants to kick her right in the shin. 

"This is Kyle and Dave." Jamie points to her sides, where the two men stand, dressed in smart suits. They smile and nod. 

"You can sit with us." Dani says, and she and Jamie lead the way to the table. "You know Owen. This is his wife, Hannah"

Jamie is incredibly polite. She shakes both their hands and takes a seat next to Owen and Dani next to her. The music becomes louder and the group at the table spend their evening talking, laughing and exchanging stories. Jamie turns on her chair to face Dani and leans into her.

"I meant it before, you know, you look incredible." 

Dani can't speak. Every words has disappeared from her vocabulary as she stares at Jamie's mouth and eyes, all she can think about is kissing her and it's almost painful to not be able to. Jamie's attention is turned away when Owen shouts for her. Those two are getting on like a house on fire. Hannah is looking at Dani, a drink pressed to her lips hiding a smile. She just winks at her and nods, as if in approval. Dani smiles.

"We are all heading out on the town after this. How do you, Kyle and Dave fancy it?" Owen asks Jamie. 

"Abso-fuckin-lutely! I'm in." Jamie turns to Kyle and Dave, who nod and agree. 

Dani stands from her seat and excuses herself from the table, heading to the ladies. When she leaves the bathroom, she sees Jamie leaning against the door to her usual classroom waiting for her. She gestures for Dani to go over as she backs into the classroom. 

Dani looks down the empty hallway and enters the room. 

"What are you doing in here?" Dani asks. She watches as Jamie turns around and faces her, one hand in the pocket of her pants. 

"Bit loud out there." Jamie smirks. "And you.. weren't out there." She takes a couple of steps forward. When she gets within arms reach of Dani, she reaches for her hand and pulls gently. 

Dani takes the remaining step and closes the gap between them. Their bodies are pressed together and faces close. Dani feels her mouth go dry and her heart pounds. She bites her lip and stares into Jamie's eyes. 

Her breathing quickens and she wants to kiss her, wants to so badly. Just when she thinks that Jamie is about to kiss her, they hear footsteps and laughter in the hallway. Dani takes a quick step back and Jamie very casually sits on the table behind her. Becca pops her head around the door. 

"Hey! We're leaving. You two coming?" Becca raises her eyebrow at Dani with a smirk.

Dani and Jamie leave the room and they head out to meet the others. The walk into town is filled with talking and laughter and Dani and Jamie looking over at eachother as much as they can. They reach a pub in town and head in together, all a little dressed up for a regular Friday night out but none of them care. 

Dani is sat opposite Jamie, and although she is trying to stay engaged in a conversation with Hannah and Becca, she can't concentrate. She can only imagine what that kiss may have been like. But then she remembers, Jamie has a girlfriend and she can't be that person. She won't. 

Dani finds herself letting herself go a little bit more with Becca, buying shots at the bar and drinking them in secret. At one point, Jamie stands beside them, startling the two. "You two are not very good at hiding. You can't hide shots from an English lass, its practically against the law." Jamie holds up 3 fingers to the bartender, who nods and pours 3 shots of clear liquid into the glasses. 

The effect of alcohol on Dani's mind has clouded her judgement. She couldn't help her eyes wandering up and down Jamie's body, consuming every part of it. She couldn't help her teeth biting into her bottom lip or imagining what it would be like to scream her name. Dani took a deep breath in and picked up the glass, downing the drink. 

"You, Jamie, are very interesting." Becca says wobbly. She pokes one finger into Jamie's chest and laughs. 

"I'm not sure about that. I'm actually quite boring." Jamie laughs.

Dani takes this opportunity to sneak away towards the back door of the pub, making sure that Jamie notices. She hopes that she takes the hint and follows, leaving Becca at the bar. 

Outside, Dani stands in the dark. She nervously walks back and forth, playing with her fingers and looking down at the ground. She looks up when she feels a presence infront of her. It's Jamie, standing there with _that_ smile. 

"You look a little tense, Poppins. Y'alright?" 

Dani sighs and steps forward, pulling Jamie in towards her. Jamie responds by putting one arm around Dani's back and pushing her very gently against a wall. Their bodies are pressed together again and Dani is breathing so hard she thinks she might actually faint. Jamie's breath is warm against her mouth and her eyes are staring deeply into Dani's.

"Jamie.." Dani whispers. 

Jamie presses her lips against Dani's cheek. 

"We can't." Dani whispers again.

Jamie kisses her other cheek. "Why not?" 

The air is thick and Dani realises their bodies are grinding very slowly against eachother.

"You have a.." Dani can't finish the rest of the sentence, her entire body is burning with a sensation she has never felt before. A longing she has never felt before.

Jamie dips her face down to Dani's jawline and kisses softly, whispering "No, I don't." 

Dani very lights moans and hardly even registers what was just said. Until she does and she suddenly feels even lighter under Jamie's kisses. 

"You don't?" She manages to sound. "What about..?" Dani can hardly think, let alone speak. 

Jamie kisses down Dani's neck slowly, her arm tightening around her back. "It was easier to let you think I was taken." She continues pressing lips against Dani's skin, pushing her tongue against her pulse point.

Dani melts, her legs almost give in and a moan escapes her lips. She unclips the chain holding Jamie's jacket together and slides her hands under the material and around her sides, pulling her in closer. Jamie lifts her head and looks at Dani. 

"But you're not? Taken?" Dani says quietly, tugging at Jamie's shirt. 

Jamie smiles. "No." 

"Oh, god." Dani says as she presses her lips hard against Jamie's. The gardener reciprocated, pushing her own body into hers and parting her lips. Their tongues meet and the kiss is slow and soft. It's everything Dani imagined it would be. No, it was better and she didn't ever want it to end. 

Jamie pulled away from the kiss and Dani breathed heavily, still pulling on Jamie's body. 

"I've wanted to do that for so long." Jamie smiles, running one hand through Dani's hair. She leans in again and kisses her cheek.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Dani whispers. 

Jamie smiles into Dani's cheek. "Not sure your friends would be happy about that." 

"Can't say I care right now." Dani bit her lip and pulled Jamie in to another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! 
> 
> Chapter title from: Newton Faulkner - Dream Catch Me


	6. maybe we could find new ways to fall apart

One of Jamie's hands is in Dani"s hair, her tongue softly searching Dani's mouth. Dani is still pulling on Jamie's shirt, begging for their bodies to be closer. Dani can feel her desperation growing but Jamie is so slow and careful with her movements.

"Your place or mine?" Dani whispered between kisses.

Jamie dipped her head and kissed Dani's neck. She put both of her hands on Dani's hips and breathed heavily into the crook of her neck. "Are you sure?" 

Dani put her head back against the wall as her neck was being kissed and sighed. " _So_ sure."

Jamie moaned, gently bit Dani's skin and stepped back. She grabbed Dani's hand and pulled her back towards the door. They managed to sneak out of the bar without being spotted, it would become a _very_ big deal if Becca had noticed them leaving together. Tomorrow, she thought, tomorrow she would explain properly, but for now a text would do just to let them know she's safe. 

_To: Owen, Hannah & Becca [22.36]_

_I had a great night, but headed home. See you tomorrow._

She absolutely knew that when they realised Jamie was gone too that they would piece it together, but there was no time for that thought as Jamie pulled her into a dark alleyway and pushed her against a wall, her teeth sinking into Dani's neck. 

"Jamie.." she moans into the darkness, her hands around Jamie's back, pulling at her desperately. 

Jamie laughs and grabs her hand again, pulling her through the alleyway and out onto another street. Dani notices the bar which Jamie lives above and suddenly feels her mouth go dry. They walk over the road and in through a side door. 

At the top of the stairs, Jamie unlocks the door and opens it for Dani to enter first. And now, now Dani is nervous. All that energy she had before as evaporated and she realises she has _no_ idea what to do. The door closes behind her and Jamie must notice the look on her face. 

"Everythin' alright, Poppins?" 

Jamie's voice is soft, but husky at the same time. It's enough to relax her just a little. "Yeah.. I just.. I've never." Dani doesn't finish her sentence, she just looks at the ground. She's never gone home with someone like this before. She's never been with a _woman_ before. She's never been this turned on by anyone before. And she doesn't know what to do with all these feelings. 

"Hey." Jamie grabs one of her hands. "Nothin' has to happen. I am more than happy to just sit on the couch with you and talk about whatever you want." Jamie leads them to the couch and sits her down. 

Dani smiles, her heart still beating so damn hard. She watches as Jamie walks away toward the kitchen and opens the fridge. "Beer, wine, water?" She asks over her shoulder. 

"Water, please." Dani hopes it will at least hydrate her. She looks around the room. There are records everywhere, movies, books, plants. It's a small place but its homely and looked after.

Jamie returns to the sofa and sits beside Dani, facing her, one leg bent and tucked under her other leg and one arm resting on the back of the couch. Dani takes the bottle of water and drinks some, before placing it on the coffee table. 

"So, Miss Clayton. Have you had a good night?" Jamie asks with a smirk.

Dani blushes and she sits back on the sofa, turning her body to face Jamie. She realises how close Jamie's hand is to her face and wants to feel it. "Best night I've had in ages, I think." 

Jamie raises an eyebrow, that same smirk on her face. It makes Dani want to kiss her. "Yeah? I'm glad I was here to witness it." 

Jamie picks up a remote from a table beside her and presses a button. Music plays quietly in the background and Dani feels herself relax more. She looks at Jamie and she knows, there's no expectations here. She also knows that she is insanely attracted to this woman. She shifts her gaze from Jamie's face to the rest of her body, her jacket is still undone and her shirt is half hanging out of her pants. Dani bites her lip and can feel her excitement building again, but she still really doesn't know how this is supposed to go. 

Jamie is looking at her, a little bit smug, maybe. "So I wasn't imagining it then, you _do_ undress me with your eyes." 

Dani shrugs her shoulders and smiles. And the way Jamie looks back at her, deep into her eyes, it drives her crazy. She pushes her legs together as if to distract from the unfamiliar ache that lies between them. 

"Your mates won't mind that you left without telling them, will they?" Jamie asks whilst edging her hand closer to Dani, twirling her finger on a piece of her blonde hair. 

"I texted to let them know I was leaving so they wouldn't worry." She was finding it hard to concentrate and could only just manage to remember to breathe in an out.

Jamie smiled, she watched as Dani leant in to her hand, pushing her fingers further into her hair. 

"Come closer." Dani whispered. 

Jamie scooches closer and puts her other hand on Dani's leg. The feeling of Jamie's fingers touching her skin gives her goosebumps and she can't help the gasp that escapes her lips. Her confidence seems to be building and she puts her hand on top of Jamie's. It startles the gardener who looks back at her apologetically, wondering if that was too much. But Dani pulls Jamie's hand further up her leg, along the outside of her thigh.

"Poppins, we really don't have to.." Jamie is breathing faster as she speaks, her hand still being led. 

Dani leans back against the arm of the couch. Jamie's hand is out of her hair but she needs to adjust her position and allows Dani to guide her. Jamie is now hovering over Dani, one hand still on her thigh under the blonde's dress, her other hand holding her up behind Dani's head on the arm of the couch. Dani slides one hand under Jamie's jacket and pulls her down so their bodies are touching. 

Dani feels Jamie squeeze her thigh and very quietly moans, both her hands now under Jamie's jacket and she pulls the shirt out from under the waistband of her pants. Her hands gently glide across Jamie's waist. Her skin is soft and smooth and feels deliciously warm. 

"Dani.." Jamie whispers, lowering her face to kiss Dani's cheek, shivering under the touch of her hands. 

"Yes?" 

"We should slow down." Jamie says quietly into her ear and then she nibbles her lobe. 

Dani felt electric between her legs again at the sound of Jamie's voice in her ear, followed by her breathing. She dug her nails into the soft skin of Jamie's back. She didn't want to slow down, she didn't want to at all, but she wasn't about to beg. 

"Okay." She finally whispered and she pulled her hands from under Jamie's shirt and began to sit up. Jamie kissed along her jawline as they shifted positions. "But you're going to have to stop kissing me like _that._ " 

Jamie smiled into her cheek and laughed a little, before moving back and sitting back against the couch. Dani was surprised, but also appreciated that Jamie really _heard_ her earlier and wasn't willing to push the boundaries. Sitting on the couch and talking was enough for this incredibly hot woman who could probably have whoever she wants in her bed. 

They sat closely, Jamie with her feet on the ground and Dani's legs thrown across Jamie's thighs, making herself more than comfortable in her company. They spoke for what seemed like hours, laughed together as they exchanged brutal stories about high school and ridiculous job interviews or family vacations, or _holidays_ as Jamie liked to correct her. They eventually got onto the topic of Dani's family and now ex boyfriend. 

"I haven't told my family yet. But I can only imagine Eddie got there first. He went to school and told my _boss_ for gods sake." Dani sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"He told Owen? He outed you to your fucking boss? What the fuck. That's really shitty." Jamie was frowning and Dani thought it looked _really_ cute. 

"What?" Jamie asked. 

"You look adorable when you frown like that." Dani giggled.

Dani watched as Jamie ever so slightly blushed, then she caught sight of the clock on a side table. "Oh wow, look at the time!" 

Jamie looked down at her watch. 1.30am. "Holy shit. You must be shattered. Let me walk you home." 

Dani smiled and her heart melted just a little bit at the concern on Jamie's face and in her voice. "I'll get a taxi, if you don't mind."

"Oh.. okay." Jamie sounded sad or.. hurt? 

"No I mean.. I would _love_ for you to walk me home but.." She sat up and put one hand on the side of Jamie's face. "But you would kiss me goodnight at the door and.." she leans in and kisses Jamie on the cheek, lingering by her ear. "Then I wouldn't be able to resist taking you to my bed." 

Jamie gasps and turns to look at Dani. "Yep, that's a valid reason." She picks her phone up and orders an uber on the app. The two stand up and head to the door. Jamie puts her hand on the handle and turns back to face Dani. 

"When can I see you again?" 

Dani smiles and grabs hold of Jamie's free hand. "Whenever you like." And she leans in and kisses Jamie on the lips very softly. Truthfully she's scared of there being any more pressure because of how hot and bothered Jamie's kisses make her, and she's proud of herself for actually almost making it out of the apartment. 

They walk downstairs and outside, where the remaining drinkers were leaving the bar. The taxi pulls up and Jamie opens the door for Dani. 

"Goodnight, Poppins." She smiles and closes the door, before sliding her hands into her pockets. 

Dani doesn't look back for fear of feeling like she just made a horrible mistake. There will be other nights, she hopes.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoyed so far. Of course, there's more to come! 
> 
> Chapter title from: Fun. - We Are Young


	7. smooth as silk, cool as air, oh it makes you wanna cry

On Saturday morning, Dani finds herself up quite early considering the late night she had. Her head is buzzing with thoughts of the night before, she doesn't think she has laughed that much ever. She walks slowly to the kitchen and sits at the island in the centre, clicking on the coffee machine. Her phone is sat beside it and she picks it up. 

The first thing she did when she left was send a message to Owen, Hannah and Becca on the group chat they were all in together. So when she picked her phone up for the first time since she sent that message, well she wasn't surprised to see their replies. 

_From: Hannah [22.37pm]_

_See you soon, Dani, love._

_From: Owen [22.38pm]_

_Alcohol you later!_

_From: Becca [22.55pm]_

_You left? And Jamie left? I want every little detail first thing tomorrow! Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!_

Dani laughed as she read the messages and wondered how she would play this. She could be honest about it, but it wasn't just her business, it was Jamie's too and the decent thing would be to talk to her about it first. 

The sudden reality of her situation hit her as she looked around her living room. Pictures of her and Eddie still framing the fireplace. His family, her family. She found the warm fuzzy feeling that still lingered in her mind from last night fading away rather quickly. 

The coffee machine finishes and she pours herself a cup. She decides she needs to at least reply to the messages from her friends. 

_To: Owen, Hannah & Becca [9.14am]_

_I got home safe and sound._

_From: Owen [9.15am]_

_Dinner tonight. You guys in?_

_To: Owen, Hannah & Becca [9.15am]_

_Absolutely. What time?_

_From: Becca [9.15am]_

_I'm in. Dani, what did you get up to last night huh? Sneaking out on us like that._

_To: Owen, Hannah & Becca [9.16am]_

_I don’t know what you're talking about._

_From: Owen [9.16am]_

_Leave the woman alone, Becca. 7pm sharp, ladies._

Dani put her phone down on the counter and sipped her coffee. It had been the best part of a week that she hadn't spoken to her mother. She had to know by now that her and Eddie had broken up. 

Today, Dani thought, that she would clear out some of the house. Get some shopping in and pluck up the courage to call her mom, someone had to make the first move. 

The morning flew by; a shower, a quick trip to the shops, one load of laundry and it was time to stop putting off the phone call. 

Dani's mom wasn't very understanding about anything. She was happy that Dani and Eddie were getting married. Adored the boy and loved that he and his family were well off enough to look after Dani. So it didn't come as a shock to her when she literally screamed at her down the phone. 

_"What the hell do you think you're playing at? Do you really think you're going to get any better than Edmund? How can you tell him you're not attracted to men, you have been together since you were kids."_

All this, followed by some bullshit comments about how Dani doesn't know what she's talking about regarding the 'lesbian thing'. Dani didn't say much, just let her shout for as long as was needed. When she finally shut up, Dani very calmly put her point across. 

"I'm not going to apologise because you feel like I have let you down. I wasn't happy in the relationship and I told Eddie the truth because it wouldn't have been fair to him to live a lie. I realise this may have come as a shock to you but it's who I am and you can either learn to accept me or.." 

Dani doesn't finish the sentence. Her relationship with her mother was never a great one. But she still loves her. A girl still needs a mom from time to time. 

Her mom ended the phone call by saying she needed to think and that she would get back in touch when she was ready. Dani just agreed. _When she was ready._ As if it has been any easier on herself to live a lie for all these years, even if she has only just figured out what she wants. 

Dani spends the first part of the afternoon taking down photos of her and Eddie and putting them in a box. She didn't need to look at them whenever she scanned the rooms. She decided it would be nice to get out of the house early and walk to Owen's, so at around 5.30, she set off. 

Her mind wandered back to the night before. She couldn't help her heart begin to race when she thought about Jamie. It wasn't even just about the kissing either, it was everything. The way Jamie looked at her from across the room or a table. The way Jamie fit right in with her friends as if she has know them forever. The way Jamie hadn't put any pressure on her and was completely respectful the whole time, even denying Dani's advances. 

Dani took a seat on her favourite park bench and folded her arms across her chest to keep the warmth in. She had always enjoyed her own company, something she had to get used to when with Eddie because she didn't really have a chance for much of a social life. She could feel things changing now though. 

When she arrived at Owen's, she was greeted with a cup of tea by Hannah and they took a seat in the living room. Becca had arrived about 10 minutes before Dani and was eyeing her from the armchair across the room. She waited for Hannah to leave to help Owen in the kitchen, before leaning forward on her seat. 

"Tell me _everything!_ " 

Dani laughed and sipped her tea. "There's nothing to tell." 

"Oh come on, Dani. You went home with Jamie, don't lie to me." Becca looks way too excited about this.

"Well we left together, but nothing happened. She just walked me to a taxi is all." Technically it wasn't a lie, she just missed out the stop off at Jamie's flat. 

"Really? I'm not sure I believe you. I guess I'll just have to ask Jamie." Becca smirks. 

"What?" Dani raises an eyebrow at her. 

"Oh, did Owen not tell you? He invited her over for dinner with us tonight. She should be here soon." 

Dani felt her cheeks blush. _Shit shit shit_. She wasn't prepared for this, hasn't even spoken to her since last night. "No, he didn't tell me." 

Becca laughed, she is so smug right now. Dani just glared at her. She knew that Jamie really got on with everyone last night, but what was their plan? She sipped her tea again, trying to contain just how fucking excited she actually is. There's a knock on the door. 

Owen ran to the door, he still had his chefs hat on and Dani knew that it would make Jamie laugh as soon as she saw it. It did, and the sound of her laughter made Dani's knees go weak. Owen walked her into the house and showed her to the living room. As soon as Dani saw her, she bit her lip, trying to stop her smile being too obvious. 

Hannah stepped into the living room. Jamie was carrying a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. 

"These are for you." She handed Hannah the flowers. "And this is for you." And she handed Owen the wine. "Thank you both for having me." She smiled at them. 

"Thats so lovely, thank you dear." Hannah beamed back at Jamie. 

Dani was feeling so irritated that Jamie hadn't noticed her yet, but Hannah and Owen had taken up all of her attention. Becca was staring at Dani the whole time, watching her reactions. Dani knew, but wasn't giving her the satisfaction of looking back. Hannah left the room and Owen showed Jamie to the rest of the room. 

"Make yourself comfortable, dinner will be ready soon." He clapped his hands together and left the room. 

Jamie walked right over to Dani, as if she was the only person in the room and she leant down and kissed her on the cheek, just like she did when they met at the party the night before.

"Hey Poppins." She sat down beside Dani on the two seater sofa and looked over at Becca. "How ya doin' Becca? You sure was putting the liquor away last night. I'm surprised your still standing." 

Becca laughed. It was hard to be anything other than relaxed in Jamie's company. 

"Thought I might die this morning, actually. But nothing a red bull and a bacon butty can't fix." She laughed. 

Jamie looked back at Dani. "And how are you doing?"

Dani couldn't breathe, she just stared at Jamie's perfect eyes for a moment. "Uh, yeah I'm fine. Thanks." She distracted her mouth again by having another sip of her tea. She could tell this night was going to be long. When Jamie turned back to Becca and struck up a conversation, she took that opportunity to take Jamie in. She is wearing black jeans with rips in various places, doc marten boots, a black vest top and an open flannel shirt. She looks away when it all becomes too much, when that feeling in her stomach comes back and she wants nothing more than to touch her. 

She feels Jamie's leg press against hers. It was definitely deliberate but to an onlooker wouldn't have seemed that way. Hannah steps back into the room to pass Jamie a cup of tea, which she takes with a smile and a sincere thank you. Hannah joins the conversation and its at this point that Dani realises she has no idea what they are talking about. She hopes to god they don't ask her opinion on anything. 

Owen calls from the kitchen that dinner is ready and they all get up and walk into the dining room. The table has been set and looks lovely. They take their seats and Dani sits beside Jamie. Owen is at the head of the table and Hannah to his right, facing Jamie. And Becca is sat next to Hannah, opposite Dani. 

The dinner is lovely. A typical British ' _Sunday lunch'._ The meal is filled with clinking of wine glasses, thanking Owen for the food and light conversation, which this time Dani does partake in. The whole time, Jamie's leg is pressed against hers and she wants to reach down and touch the skin that's peeking through the rips of her jeans, but Becca is observing too much this evening. 

"Have you spoken to your mum yet, Dani?" Owen asks. 

"Today, actually. She was furious. But I told her she either accepts me or doesn't. The ball is in her court now I suppose." Dani can't help the sound of disappointment in her voice, but Jamie puts a hand over hers and squeezes. Dani feels her breath catch in her chest and wants to look at her, to turn her hand over and hold it like she was saving her from drowning, but she plays it off cool. Jamie's hand is gone in a second. 

"Well you know you're always accepted with us." Hannah raises her glass to Dani and the rest follow suit.

After dinner, they all stand in the kitchen, drinking wine and talking. Dani watches as Jamie takes her cigarettes out of her pocket.

"Am I alright to nip out back for a smoke?" 

Owen opens the back door for her and she turns around to look at Dani. "Fancy it, Poppins?" 

Dani nods. Luckily the rest of them were too caught up in the chatter to comment. She walks through the back door with Jamie and closes it behind her. 

"I hope you don't mind me being here. I almost said no, but man, Owen is convincing." Jamie lit a cigarette and handed it to Dani. 

"Of course I don't mind. It was a nice surprise. Becca was grilling me about last night but I just told her you walked me to a taxi." She took a drag of her a cigarette. 

Jamie puffed out some smoke, an eyebrow raised. "Ouch, and here I thought we had a lovely night together." 

"Oh my god, no I didn't mean it like that. I just.. I hadn't spoken to you yet and.." Dani stops speaking when Jamie grabs her hand.

"Hey, I'm just fuckin' with ya. I get it. This is all new for you. As long as you and I know whats going on, that's all that matters. Besides, could be kinda fun sneaking around a little bit." Jamie laughs. 

Dani knows she is joking of course, but she also has a point. This was very new for Dani. Her and Eddie had been together for so many years that she didn't know how to do any of this. Flirt, date, be woo'd by sensationally hot gardeners. She held onto Jamie's hand and pulled gently. "I really want to kiss you." She whispered.

Jamie gave her that smile again. Jamie must know what effect that smile has on her by now. "Later." The brunette whispers back. She lets go of Dani's hand and finishes up her cigarette. As she waits for Dani though, she takes a step forward and presses her lips to her cheek. She uses one hand to move Dani's hair away from her neck and lightly kisses under her ear. 

Dani shivers and an unexpected moan escapes her lips. Jamie smiles into her neck and steps back. Dani turns to face her and wants to grab her or push her against a wall, anything that would bridge the gap between them. "Later." She finally agrees and puts her cigarette out. 

They head back inside where they are met with a new glass of wine each and surprisingly no questions. For some reason, whenever Owen and Hannah host get togethers they would end up in the kitchen, leaning against the counters or sat on the work tops. Owen's kitchen is the heart of the house and it just always ended up that way. The speaker played music from a playlist they had been creating for some time; pop, rap, r&b, rock, indie. It was endless. 

"As the newest member of our group, Jamie, you must select your favourite song to be added to the playlist." Owen hands Jamie his phone. 

"Ooh the pressure." She says whilst frowning down at the phone. Dani watches as she flicks through some of the songs already on there and then adds Maria by Blondie. "There. It was a hard pick, because someone had already added _everything_ by ABBA." 

Dani puts her head in her hands and laughs. She could tell by the look Jamie gave her that she knew it was her. "I know, I'm sorry, it's a guilty pleasure!" 

Jamie knocks her elbow against Dani's arm and laughs. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't like them too, Poppins." 

The 5 of them talk and laugh and drink for another couple of hours. Dani finds herself examining all that she can about Jamie. The way strands of her curly brown hair fall into her face. The way she frowns a little when she is _really_ listening to someone. The way she smiles at everyone else differently to Dani, like when she is smiling at Dani its with her soul too. 

Dani finds that when she is in the company of her friends, the thoughts of the past week fizzle away and she can let herself be really happy, not thinking about the guilt she feels for what she has put Eddie through. Or about the disappointment in her mothers voice earlier. She can really just focus on what is happening now.

What is happening now is her lips are pressed against the wine glass in her hand, her eyes focused on Jamie who is stood infront of her. It's the wine, she knows it's the wine, clouding her mind so the only thing she can think about is kissing Jamie. It's excruciating, the ache between her legs as she imagines what it would be like to have Jamie between them.

She blushes, because although she knows she wants it, _badly,_ she can't help the nervousness that comes along with that feeling. She just simply isn't ready yet. Jamie looks over at her and raises an eyebrow, as if trying to hear what she's thinking. Dani sips her wine and looks away.

"So what made you come to America?" Hannah asks Jamie. 

"Long story, really. It was a long time coming, in the end I decided it was now or never." Jamie's voice was filled with a sense of heaviness and pain and it tugged at Dani's heart strings, made her want to just hold her until she felt better.

"Well it appears Dani managed to find all the British outcasts and coerce them into being her friends." Owen laughs as he looks at Dani and the rest laugh too. 

Dani however, just stands there, straight faced as she lets the comment sink in. She looks around the group and her mouth drops open a little. "Shit, you're right. How have I only just noticed this?" And she laughs too. 

"We Brits make the best friends, love." Jamie smirks. 

It's true. They do. 

When the night comes to an end, Becca has once again had too much to drink so Owen and Hannah decide it's best she probably crashes in their spare room. Jamie and Dani help her up the stairs, her arm thrown over Jamie's shoulder.

"I really.. really like you, Jamie. You're a person good." She laughs at herself for getting her words the wrong way round, then she stops in the hallway and stands up straight staring at Jamie and narrowing her eyes. "But if you ever hurt my friend.. I'll.." She looks away, as if searching for her next words, then back at Jamie. "I'll get you!" And she pokes Jamie in the chest, before turning around and opening the door. 

Dani leans on the bannister and can't help but laugh as the door shuts in Jamie's face. Jamie turns to face her. 

"I'll consider myself warned then, shall I?" She laughs too. 

"She's just had too much to drink." 

"She's also not stupid, Dani. She can see what's going on." Jamie takes a step forward and puts on hand on Dani's arm, pulling gently.

"Yeah? And what's going on?" Dani feels her heart quicken under Jamie's touch. She lets herself be guided into the gardeners body and puts her own hands onto either side of Jamie's hips. 

"You've been undressing me with your eyes again, is what." 

"God, am I _that_ obvious?" Dani blushes. 

"Only to me." Jamie puts one hand on the side of Dani's face. "But we would be daft to think your friends couldn't see the way we look at each other." 

Dani knows it's true. She looks into Jamie's eyes. The moment takes her and she is about to lean in and kiss her. There's a loud bang against the bedroom door where Becca is, like something has been thrown at it, followed by a very drunk yell.

"Shut up and fuck her already!"

Dani and Jamie laugh and turn back to the stairs. They make it half way down before Jamie grabs Dani's hand and turns her around. She steps down so she is closer to Dani's face and puts one hand on her cheek. Dani let's her eyes close under the warmth, lets her entire body relax. Jamie leans in and kisses her. A soft kiss that lingers, like she was trying to send a message. Dani moans lightly and smiles into the kiss.

Jamie pulls away, one hand on her cheek still and she stares into Dani's eyes. "I promised you later." 

Dani smiles and although she wants to talk, she doesn't know what to say, so she just presses her lips against Jamie's and slides one hand across her side. She breaks the kiss before the excitement gets too much and walks the rest of the way down the stairs. 

Back in the kitchen, Owen and Hannah are cuddled up adorably against a counter, her head on his chest.

"She alright?" Owen asks. 

"Yeah, she'll be fine. Probably have a bad head in the morning though." Dani replies, unable to hold back her smile as she takes in the sight of her friends' happiness. "We'll get out of your hair. Thank you both for an incredible night."

"Yeah, it's been amazin', thanks for letting me crash." Jamie adds. 

"Anytime." Owen smiles. "Get home safe." 

Dani is already grabbing hers and Jamie's coats, but she hears Jamie reply to Owen. "I'll make sure she does." 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm enjoying writing about these two so much, wasn't expecting this one to go on so long but here we are! More to come of course. Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Chapter title from: Maria by Blondie.


	8. 'cause i'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me

It's 11.30pm on a Saturday in October and its fucking cold. Autumn has always been Dani's favourite season, she likes the cold air in the evenings and the way the leaves stay crunchy on the ground. She also loves any excuse to wear a big coat or jumper. Dani and Jamie walk down the street in silence, slowly too. They reach the edge of the park, Dani's favourite park. 

"Want to cut through here?" She asks Jamie.

"Sure." Jamie says with a smile, her hands in her pockets.

Dani pushes the gate open and the path is lit by tiny lights on the ground. She has been here hundreds of times before in the light and the dark, but something is different tonight. She thinks it's because Jamie is with her. 

"What made you decide to become a gardener?" Dani asks with interest. They haven't actually talked about their jobs properly, so she had no idea what drove Jamie to such an interesting job. 

"Oh.. uh. That's quite a story." Jamie kicks a small rock with her boot, staring down at the ground as they walk.

"I would like to hear it." Dani pushes her arm against Jamie's. When the brunette looks at her, she smiles, trying to reassure her.

"Well alright.. um. Back in England I had a pretty rough upbringing. Spent a lot of time in foster care, split up from my brothers and parents." Jamie cleared her throat. "Eventually, when I was old enough, I split town and ran away to London. Got myself into all sorts of trouble there. Ended up serving a couple of years." Jamie's eyes hadn't left the ground yet, but Dani couldn't stop looking at her face. 

"It was there, in prison, that I got into gardening. Busy work for idle hands and all that. But it turns out, I fuckin' loved it." She looked up now, looked back at Dani. "I fuckin' _love_ it."

Dani looks back at her, not wanting to press that vulnerability, she just smiles and nods. 

"So it was after that I decided to pursue it full time. And I'm glad I did. It brought me here. I've never been a huge fan of America, but I felt too much anger in England to spend the rest of my life there. I figured some space between me and the places my brothers are would do me some good and I wasn't wrong." 

"Where are they now? Your brothers?"

Jamie takes a deep breath in, stopping in her tracks. It's as though she's just been punched in the stomach, winding her. Dani instantly wishes she didn't ask that question. But Jamie looks at her and raises her eyebrows, her features still soft. 

"Thats the thing, Poppins. No idea. I looked for them for years. Finally got wind of Mikey somewhere but turned out to be an old address. It got too much, too exhausting. My life was spiralling once again and I wasn't going back there. So I took a job opportunity here and started over." 

Dani puts one hand through the gap in Jamie's arm and squeezes. She realises it must have been tough to talk about. To open up to someone about your past after putting it all behind you. 

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Dani says whilst resting her head against Jamie's shoulder. 

"I am too." Jamie replies. 

The walk back to Dani's house through the park isn't long. Her and Jamie had spent the rest of the way there talking about how Dani met Owen, Hannah and Becca. Jamie seemed genuinely interested and it was nice because she had been invited into their little family and she accepted with no questions asked. 

"This is me." Dani says, opening the gate to her front garden. They walk up to the door together and she takes out her keys. 

"Goodnight, Dani." Jamie smiles at her, a sweet, warm smile that makes Dani's heart skip a beat. 

"Do you fancy a tea?" Dani blurts, a little more excitedly than she intended. 

Jamie jumped a little bit, it took her by surprise and she can't help but laugh. "Dani.."

The door is open now and Dani looks back at her with her big blue eyes, she doesn't say anything, just stares and hopes the fluttering of her eyelashes will convince her.

"Fine. Tea. But I'm making it." Jamie shakes her head, amused and walks into the house. 

Through to the kitchen, Dani watches as Jamie takes off her jacket and rests it on the kitchen island, looking around the room. "This place is bigger than my entire fuckin' flat."

She laughs. But shit, she can hear her heart thumping in her ears. 

"So where do you keep your tea?" Jamie turns to her and asks, leaning against the counter. 

Dani blushes. "I don't have any tea." She bites her bottom lip and looks down at the tiled floor. When she finally looks up, Jamie is stood in front of her. It's true, she lied to get Jamie to stay. 

Jamie puts her hands on Dani's waist, staring back into her eyes. "You tricked me?" 

Dani's mouth drops open and she suddenly panics, shit she actually did. It takes a second for her to realise Jamie is actually smiling and pulling her body closer. 

"I suppose I did, yes." 

Jamie pulls harder, their bodies flush together and Dani gasps at the pressure.

"That's a bit naughty." Jamie is smiling with just half her mouth again and _oh god,_ it makes Dani feel things. Jamie leans in and kisses her on the cheek, then she kisses the corner of her mouth. Dani puts her arms over Jamie's shoulders and closes her eyes. She feels herself being pushed and her back hits the counter, another gasp escapes her lips before she turns her head slightly to meet Jamie's lips.

She kisses Jamie, her hands moving into her brown curls and she pulls just a little. Jamie breaks the kiss and with one smooth movement, she lifts Dani up and onto the island, sliding in between her legs. 

Dani can't help her girly giggle but it's soon broken as Jamie kisses her again, harder this time. Dani's hands find their way back into Jamie's hair as they kiss. It's hungry, passionate, filled with tongue and quiet moans. Jamie puts her hands on Dani's lower back and pushes her body closer against her.

Dani's body arches and she pulls Jamie's hair again. Jamie slows the kiss to a stop and when Dani opens her eyes, Jamie is looking at her with a smirk. 

"It's not nice to dangle tea in front of an English lass, yanno?" 

Dani laughs. It was a low blow, she knows, but she can't deny that she liked the response. Jamie tastes like white wine and the apple pie Owen force fed them earlier in the evening and it is delicious. She dips her head and looks up at Jamie coyly. "I sure hope you can forgive me." 

Jamie laughs. "You could push my great nan over, Poppins and I'd forgive ya." 

Dani laughs back, a little shocked but found the comment hilarious nonetheless. They stare into eachothers eyes for a moment before Dani puts one hand on Jamie's cheek and leans in to kiss her. She glides the tip of her tongue very lightly across Jamie's bottom lip and feels as the brunette digs her nails into her back. 

"Stay the night." Dani whispers, her breathing heavier than she intended, but Jamie is pushing her body against her and she can feel the warmth between her legs. 

Jamie groans a little, like she is trying to fight herself. "Are you sure?" 

Dani nods, her hands back in Jamie's hair and she kisses her cheek, near her ear. "I'm sure." 

She squeals as Jamie lifts her off the counter, wrapping her legs around her waist. They kiss, more tongue than before and Jamie turns them around and presses Dani up against a wall. Dani pushes the shirt from Jamie's shoulders, she wants to feel her skin but she's in her own way so she adjusts her body to let her legs drop to the ground so she is standing again and pulls on Jamie's shirt. 

Jamie helps and pulls the sleeves off her arms. They don't stop kissing though, and now Dani is running her hands up both of Jamie's arms. She shivers at the feel of them, toned and soft. She stops kissing her so she can kiss Jamie's shoulders instead, biting into them. 

Dani moves her hands down to meet Jamie's and pulls her, they walk down the hall and into Dani's bedroom. Dani can feel her heart pounding, her nerves making her hands shake but she is determined to fight through it this time. 

Jamie puts one hand on the side of Dani's face, looking into her eyes. Dani smiles at her and pulls her towards the bed, instructing her to sit on the end of it. Jamie does and places her hands on Dani's hips, who lowers herself and sits in her lap facing her, knees either side of Jamie's legs. 

"Dani.." Jamie whispers. And Dani knows she is checking in, making sure she wants to continue down this path. 

Dani just moans and grinds her hips into Jamie, leaning down and kissing her lips. She wants to _feel_ Jamie, taste every part of her body and let herself go. 

But it's a _lot_. A lot, so fast and this is the same bed she shared with Eddie and _fuck._ Dani gasps and pulls back from the kiss abruptly. 

Jamie pulls her hands away, looking up at Dani. "Okay." She clears her throat. "You alright?" 

Dani stands up. She is furious with herself. She has waited so long for someone to make her feel like this. She has waited so long for _Jamie_. She stands up and steps back a couple of feet. "I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jamie."

Jamie stands up and walks towards Dani. And Dani can see that she's concerned, confused even. "Dani?" She places one hand on Dani's shoulder. 

At this point, Dani realises she is shaking. "I just, I can't. Not here." There's so much more she wants to say, elaborate on why she freaked out, that it's nothing to do with Jamie, but words fail her and she just puts one hand on Jamie's elbow instead. 

"Hey, it's fine. There are other nights. There _will be_ other nights." 

God Jamie's voice is soft and understanding. It just makes Dani feel worse though, guilt, like she thought Jamie was only there for one thing, the one thing she couldn't give her right now. Evidently, she was wrong. 

"Really?" She whispers.

"Yeah, Poppins. Really." Jamie smiles.

Dani melts, that smile lights up the room and makes her feel like she is floating. She takes Jamie's hand and presses a kiss against her lips, she can still feel Jamie smiling against her mouth. When she pulls away, they leave the room and head back into the kitchen, where Jamie picks up her coat. 

"I'm really sorry, Jamie." 

"You better stop apologising, Dani. Cause yanno, I think you're worth waiting for." 

Dani can't help her smile. How did she find this woman? This woman who is so sexy, so kind, so patient and understanding. Surely she doesn't deserve this. 

"I'll see you soon?" Dani says. 

Jamie walks towards her, putting her jacket on before putting her hands on Dani's arms and looking right in her eyes. "Try and stop me." 

Dani walks her to the door and opens it. Jamie lingers by the door and takes hold of one of Dani's hands, pulling it up to her lips and kissing her knuckles. "Goodnight, Poppins."

Jamie leaves and Dani closes the door, leaning her back against it. She walks back into the kitchen, looking around the room, replaying what happened. She spots Jamie's shirt on the floor and picks it up, folding it neatly. Another night, another time. 

-

On Sunday morning, Dani wakes on the sofa. Being in her bedroom totally freaked her out so she curled up on the sofa with a blanket and a glass of wine. She picks her phone up from the coffee table as it buzzes with a notification. 

_From: Becca [9.03am]_

_So.. did you do it?_

_To: Becca [9.03am]_

_Do what?_

_From: Becca [9.03am]_

_Dani! Come on you know what I'm talking about. Did you do the gardener?_

Dani laughs and sits up on the sofa, she runs her hands through her hair and sighs. Becca has always been a nosey crow and Dani thinks for a second about lying and telling her nothing is going on, but actually, maybe a little friendly advise could help.

_To: Becca [9.05am]_

_No. I completely freaked out. Can we meet?_

_From: Becca [9.06am]_

_Meet you at the caff at dinner time._

That actually felt like a weight off, even just reaching out like that. She got herself up, showered and dressed. Just before she left the house, she had a thought. Maybe if she took Jamie's shirt with her, she could drop it at her place after meeting with Becca. Yeah, thats a good idea. 

At the cafe, Dani sits with a latte for herself and has already got Becca's tea waiting. When she walks in and sits down opposite her, she smiles, trying to ignore the fact that Becca looks _so_ hungover.

"Talk to me, Dani. What happened?" Becca asks with concern in her voice. 

Dani sighs. "I really like her. Like, _really_ fucking like her, Becca." She puts her head in her hands and takes a breath, before looking back up. "And she is so sweet and kind and oh my god she is _hot_." 

"So whats the problem?" 

"There have been a couple of times that things have gotten a bit... heated. But then I suddenly realise I have no idea what I'm doing." Dani grumbles to herself, twisting a napkin under her fingers on the table. She sits upright and leans forward suddenly, lowering her voice. "And then I think.. I have _just_ broken up with Eddie. So when we were on my bed last night and.." 

Becca is smirking, cup of tea in her hands as she hangs on Dani's evey word. 

"Well, it was going somewhere. I let myself relax, decided I wanted it more than I was nervous. Then I freaked out, thinking that it was the same bed I shared with Eddie and I couldn't do it." She relaxed in her seat and sighed. 

Becca stared at her, before laughing a little and leaning forward herself. "Dani, your relationship was over with Eddie a long time ago. You hadn't slept together in how long? I get it about the bed, that's bound to be a bit weird. So go to her place instead, let her _show_ you that you have no reason to be nervous." 

Becca leans back and picks her cup up again. Dani thinks on that for a moment. She's right, she knows it. And now she is really fucking glad she picked up Jamie's shirt before she left the house. 

"How did she react when you freaked out?" Becca asks. 

"The first time, we sat on her couch for hours just talking. She was really respectful and understanding." Dani smiles at the thought. "Last night, things were moving a bit quicker and I shocked her, I think, by my reaction, but she calmed me down and told me I was worth waiting for." She still smiled, staring into her coffee. "I guess I just embarrassed myself more than anything." 

"Jesus, Dani. She sounds perfect. Where can I get me one of those?" They laugh and Dani feels better about it all now, if not a little guilty for talking to her friend about it and not Jamie. 

They finish their drinks and decide to have lunch in the cafe. 

At around 2pm, they leave the cafe and stand outside. 

"So are you going to go see her?" Becca asks with a big smile.

"You know what, yeah I am."

Becca throws her arms around Dani's neck and gives her a big cuddle. "You get yours, girl!" She whispers in her ear before turning and walking away. "I want details!" She looks back over her shoulder and laughs. 

Dani smiles and walks the opposite way towards Portal 13, the bar that Jamie lives above.

As she walks down the street, she feels her nerves build, but she pushes them down, lifting her head high. With a deep breath in, she pushes the door to the bar open and walks in. She looks around the half full pub and spots Jamie sitting at the bar, a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She smiles to herself and takes a step forward. 

Wait. Jamie is with someone. Dani keeps her hand on the door, holding it open. She notices it's the same woman Jamie was with the first time they met, and again at the restaurant the night after. _Fuck._ Dani considers going over, but her head gets the better of her and she just turns around and walks out. 

What the _fuck_? She takes a few steps down the street and has the fastest and most ridiculous internal argument with herself. Part of her is so mad, part of her is actually pretty upset, part of her is saying it might not be what it looks like. It didn't look like anything really. Just Jamie sitting there having a drink and a woman sat next to her. They weren't close or anything, it was probably innocent. But her more self conscious and dark self is telling her the opposite. 

"Poppins?" 

Dani turns around and there Jamie is. 

Just Jamie. With _that_ smile. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy guys. Making you wait a bit longer. Dangling that carrot! 
> 
> Chapter Title from: Tatu - All The Things She Said


	9. i'll kiss you in a way you'll never forget about me

Jamie looks _so_ happy to see her. She walks over and kisses her on the cheek as she has done every other time they have seen eachother. Dani can't help but melt, the way Jamie's lips feel against her skin, how sweet it is that she doesn't expect anything more than that even though they have kissed eachother properly. 

Jamie steps back and reaches for Dani's hand, holding onto it as she smiles. "I thought it was you. Did you not see me in there?" 

Dani feels embarrassed, the reaction from Jamie confirms that there's nothing to worry about and she is kicking herself for thinking otherwise, even if it was just for a split second.

"I um. I did but... then I saw you with.."

"Ah. Shit, yeah." Jamie cut her off. "I forgot about her. That's Viola."

"Your ex?" Dani asks. She already feels more relaxed now. She is studying Jamie's face.

"We dated years ago, not for very long, but yes. And you saw us together when we first met, but we weren't together then, she just finds it hard to respect people's personal space." Jamie sighs and pulls on Dani's hand reassuringly. "I know I said we were seeing eachother, but honestly it was a lie, I was trying to make myself feel better because I knew I couldn't be with you." 

Dani nods, her heart beat is quickening as she realises just how much Jamie liked her all along and immediately regrets not telling Jamie the second she broke up with Eddie.

"I should have been honest. I'm sorry about that." 

"No, it's fine. I understand." Dani lets herself be pulled towards Jamie now, her hand resting on Jamie's arm. "You left your shirt at my place last night." 

"Oh, I wondered what happened to that." Jamie stares into her eyes.

Dani feels the stare right in the pit of her stomach and it tickles. She feels her legs go weak and can't help biting her lip. "It's in my bag." She manages, just a little louder than a whisper. 

Jamie groans and tugs on the back of Dani's coat. "Christ, Poppins, you're gonna have to stop looking at me like that." She pulls harder, their bodies touching now.

Dani laughs and inches closer to Jamie's face. She can smell her perfume, mixed with cigarettes and alcohol and it shouldn't smell so good but _oh fuck_ it's delicious. "Why?" She does whisper this time. 

Jamie looks down at Dani's lips and then quickly back to her eyes. "Cause I have to go to work in an hour." She squeezes their bodies together again. 

"Thats a shame." Dani says softly, before leaning in and kissing Jamie on the lips. It's light, barely even a kiss but she feels Jamie hold her breath. She flicks her tongue against her bottom lip and the brunette gasps. Dani presses her lips in harder and moans lightly into the kiss. She smiles as she feels Jamie reciprocating and pulls back abruptly. It was her only intention to tease. 

"Enjoy work, then." Dani raises one eyebrow and turns around to walk away. She hears Jamie curse under her breath. 

-

At home a couple of hours later, Dani is sat on her sofa watching rubbish reality TV that she hates, but there's nothing else on and she is trying to distract her mind from thinking about what she would rather be doing. Or rather _who_.

Her phone vibrates. 

_From: Jamie [17.46pm]_

_I can't stop thinking about that kiss._

Dani smiles, biting her lip. Neither can she. 

_To: Jamie [17.46pm]_

_Well you insisted on going to work._

_From: Jamie [17.47pm]_

_If I wasn't my own boss, I would have called in sick._

_._

_You did it on purpose, didn't you?_

_To: Jamie [17.47pm]_

_Just wanted you to know what you were missing._

_From: Jamie [17.47pm]_

_Poppins, you tease._

_._

_What are you doing?_

With a deep breath, Dani decides this could be fun. She walks to the kitchen where her bag is and takes Jamie's shirt out of it. She removes her own tshirt and replaces it with the shirt, buttoning it to just above her bra. She sits back on the sofa and snaps a picture of herself, nothing steamy, just a picture of her face, blonde hair falling strategically and enough of her body to show she's wearing Jamie's shirt. 

_To: Jamie [17.48pm]_

_wdr345.jpg_

_._

_Nothing much. You?_

Dani giggles as she sends the picture. She sits in the oversized shirt and can still smell Jamie on it. She waits for a reply. 

_From: Jamie [17.50pm]_

_OMG. Dani.._

_._

_I wish I was there right now._

_To: Jamie [17.50pm]_

_I wish you were too._

_From: Jamie [17.51pm]_

_I can't stop looking at that pic. You're fuckin' gorgeous._

_._

_How have you done this to me?_

_._

_I'm seriously considering leaving just so I can kiss you again._

Dani fought back the urge to tell her to come. Tell her to stop working and come over. 

_To: Jamie [17.52pm]_

_Who works on a Sunday evening anyway?_

_From: Jamie [17.52pm]_

_Fools like me, that's who._

_To: Jamie [17.52pm]_

_It's too bad it's a school night. Or I'd be asking to see you when you finish._

_From: Jamie [17.53pm]_

_Dani.._

_._

_When can I see you? Properly. I'd like to take you out._

_To: Jamie [17.54pm]_

_I have some free time coming up. School ends for over a week on Wednesday._

_From: Jamie [17.55pm]_

_Wednesday. 7pm. I'll pick you up._

_To: Jamie [17.55pm]_

_I can't wait._

Dani puts her phone down and leans back on the sofa, the biggest smile she thinks she has ever had on her face. She finally feels ready, ready to drop down her walls and let herself go with Jamie. She's worth it. More than worth it.

_  
_

_-_

On Monday morning, Dani stands at the front of her class talking about the rulers of England. The kids are learning about Queen Victoria. One of the class projects is to create a timeline of events including drawings of the Palace. The kids were split into groups for this. Dani finishes explaining what they need to do and sits back at her desk.

Rebecca knocks on her door and enters, a small bouquet of flowers in her hands. She walks to Dani and places them down. 

"These came for you." She smiles and winks. 

The flowers are a mixture, they're beautiful. She doesn't really know what they are apart from the singular lavender rose that sits within them. She knows who they're from without even opening the card. Her kids in the class all begin howling, whistling and laughing. Dani quietens them down and looks up at Rebecca. 

"Someone has some explaining to do later!" She laughs and exits the classroom. Dani takes the card and opens it up. 

_'Jamie .x'_

She knows upon looking at the flowers that there's a hidden meaning behind them, so makes a mental note to ask her about it later, but sends a thank you text in the meantime.

_To: Jamie [10.49am]_

_Thank you for the flowers. They're lovely._

The rest of the school day flies by and the butterflies in Dani's stomach haven't let up. She's spent the entire day thinking about Jamie. 

The next two days are much of the same but by the time Wednesday arrives, she doesn't have much free time to think about her date later that evening. The kids are too excited to be finishing school over Halloween and as a treat, Dani lets them have a little party and spend the early afternoon watching a movie. Ghostbusters. Not a favourite of hers but the kids love it, apparently. 

As soon as the school day ends on Wednesday, she sits back in her chair and takes a deep breath. She made it to the break. She made it to today. She suddenly feels giddy about the night ahead and heads home, arranging plans with Owen, Hannah and Becca for the weekend on her way out. 

"Gotta go. Got a hot date." She winks at Becca and leaves. 

-

Back at home, she opens a bottle of wine and sits at kitchen island. She runs through in her mind how she wants this evening to go and it all ends in one way, with her screaming Jamie's name and digging her nails into her back. She bites her lip at the thought and downs a glass of wine. Dutch courage. 

_To: Jamie [16.59pm]_

_What shall I wear?_

_From: Jamie [16.59pm]_

_Do you want a practical or an honest answer? ;)_

.

_Wear something warm._

_To: Jamie [17.00pm]_

_And the honest answer?_

_From: Jamie [17.01pm]_

_Use your imagination._

Dani laughs. Something warm, though? Not an answer she was expecting. After showering, she settles on a pair of black skinny jeans and a burgundy knitted jumper with her hair down. After a couple of glasses of wine, she lets the fuzzy feeling settle in her brain and waits patiently for 7pm.

Just before 7, there's a knock at her door. She grabs her bag which has Jamie's shirt in, washed and dried now and she opens the door. 

"Poppins." Jamie's half smile almost floors her there and then. "You look amazing." 

Dani looks her up and down, light blue jeans with rips, signature black doc martens and a long sleeve black tshirt. Her mouth is dry and she doesn't think she has blinked since she opened the door. 

"Dani?" Jamie laughs and grabs her hand. "Ya ready?" 

"Yeah. Yes. I'm ready." She clears her throat and turns to lock the door. Jamie opens the passenger side door to her truck to let Dani in and closes it behind her. She gets in herself and starts the engine. 

"So where are you taking me?" 

"It's almost Halloween, Poppins, we're going to watch a drive in movie." Jamie beams, she obviously loves this time of year and apparently scary movies too. 

Dani laughs and nods her head. Jamie drives to where the large screen has been set up, in a clearing next to a graveyard. How fitting. They park and Jamie reaches to the back seat, bringing back a flask and two mugs. She pours tea into the cups and hands one to Dani. 

"I hope this is okay." Jamie says as she sips her tea.

"It's perfect." Dani shivered as she held the cup, stealing it's warmth. Jamie put her arm around Dani.

"Come on, I'll keep ya warm"

Dani slid along the bench and sat beside Jamie, leaning into her. She can smell Jamie's perfume again, feel the warmth of her skin under her tshirt and hear her heart beat. Her senses are overwhelmed and she can think of nothing other than being closer to her. Soon. She reminds herself that there is a movie about to start and so she sits up a little, her leg pressed close to Jamie's. 

The movie begins. _Poltergeist._ Might it have been wise for her to tell Jamie that she's terrified of horror films? No. It's the perfect excuse to move in closer, hold her hand. 

Jamie laughs as Dani jumps, which earns her a slight dig in the ribs. The movie has only been on for 35 minutes and Dani can't concentrate. She keeps looking at Jamie's eyes, lips, tracing her jawline with her eyes and down her neck to her collarbones. 

Dani slides one hand over Jamie's stomach, dragging her nails gently as she pulls it back. Jamie's breath in is sharp and audible and she closes her eyes. Dani leans in closer to hear ear. 

"Do you want to get out of here?" She whispers. 

Jamie turns her head to look at her. "Are you sure?"

Dani smiles, biting her bottom lip. She leans in and kisses her, pressing her lips hard against Jamie's. "Yes" 

Jamie kisses her back, one hand on the side of her face. "Thank fuck." She whispers between kisses. She pulls away, turns on the engine and drives away. 

Dani stays sitting beside her, sliding one hand down Jamie's thigh towards her knee. She feels the muscle tense as she presses her foot down on the clutch to change gears. 

"Are you trying to make me crash, Poppins?" 

Dani Iaughs. "I'm sorry. I can't help myself." 

Jamie bites her lip, her eyes stay cautiously on the road. The drive back to her flat is short, silent. But the air is thick and loud. They pull up behind the pub and get out. The back entrance to the pub is in sight but Dani feels as though its too far away. She can't not be kissing her for any longer. 

They were already walking hand in hand, so Dani stops and pulls Jamie back, turning her around. Her hands now holding either side of Jamie's face as she kisses her, her tongue finding it's way inside Jamie's mouth hungrily. Jamie puts her hands on Dani's waist, pulling her body in and moaning into the kiss. 

Jamie pulls back, almost gasping for air. She smiles and grabs Dani's hand, pulling her in through the door and up the stairs. The door barely shuts behind Dani before Jamie pushes her up against it, pressing her weight behind it as she kisses Dani's neck. 

This time is different. This time Dani can feel nothing other than Jamie, think of nothing other than Jamie. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for continuing to read.   
> The next chapter is gonna be pure smut, not gonna lie! 
> 
> Chapter Title from: Love Bites (So Do I) by Halestorm


	10. taste me, drink my soul

So here's the thing, Dani has had sex before and it was always.. _boring._ She and Eddie had been together since they were kids so she just kind of figured it was the normal thing to do when they turned 18. All their friends were doing it, all her girl friends talked about nothing but it. The first time was forgettable. The second time was just plain awkward and every time since, Dani had convinced herself that maybe she just didn't enjoy it. 

But now, as Jamie is lay between her legs and is doing _that_ with her tongue, she realises exactly what sex is supposed to feel like. The sight of another woman, of _Jamie,_ there teasing her entrance with the tip of her tongue is exhilarating.

Despite her always being secretly attracted to women, and having thought about how sleeping with a woman might be, she couldn't really imagine it. She had never felt pleasure in bed so had further convinced herself that maybe she just didn't enjoy sex.

But now, she is lying naked on her back, holding on to the headboard with both her hands whilst Jamie licks the nipple on her left breast and fucks her with two fingers, making her moan into the silence of the bedroom.

The way her friends spoke about it. The way her friends ditched parties early or snook off to the nearest bathroom at the town fair just for a quickie always confused her. She could think of nothing worse than doing that, always making herself busy so that Eddie wouldn't float that idea by her.

But now, Jamie has her hands under her ass and her lips pressed against her clit, circling her tongue around it and sucking and Dani cannot control herself. Her body is writhing, her mouth panting Jamie's name and cursing to any fucking god that would listen. 

Suddenly everything makes sense. Suddenly she feels like her senses have come alive for the first time. Like she has missed Jamie her entire life. 

So she pulls on Jamie's hair, pulling her up into a kiss and she can taste herself on Jamie's lips, the brunettes fingers still thrusting in and out of her, she lets herself come crashing back down to earth, her legs shaking uncontrollably as she reaches the height of orgasm. Her legs closing shut on Jamie's hand and she is glad that she's kissing her otherwise she would be screaming her name.

"Christ, Poppins.." Jamie whispers, breathing heavily. She pulls her hand away slowly and lays on her back beside her. 

Dani looks over to her, and if she couldn't see Jamie's face so clearly she would swear she had gone blind. Her chest rises with each breath and she smiles, laughs a little as if she was drunk.

"Oh my god. Jamie you... you are incredible." 

Jamie looks at her, a smile just as big as Dani's on her face. And that's when Dani sees it, the light shimmering on her arousal that covers Jamie's chin. She should be embarrassed, she thinks, that is until she sees Jamie's tongue reach for it just below her bottom lip. The fire rages in Dani's core again and she rolls over to rest on top of the brunette.

Jamie is also naked, and when Dani sits up on her lap, she can feel how wet she is on her own centre. It's slippery but not in an awkward way, in an entirely new sexy way that Dani wants to explore. She thrusts her hips forward, creating a friction between them that makes Jamie's eyes roll back. 

Dani has never been in this position before, where she has wanted to lose control of her body. She likes to keep control of every aspect of her life, always thinking about what people might think or what they would or wouldn't accept. Hence why she stayed in a relationship that was clearly never going to work.

But now, she looks down at Jamie, her hands resting on her breasts, her hips still grinding, she _wants_ to lose control. Jamie puts her hands onto Dani's hips, pushing her own pelvis up to achieve as much friction as possible. 

Dani keeps up a rhythm, her fingertips squeezing Jamie's pert nipples. For a moment she stays this way, before she leans down to kiss Jamie.

"I want to taste you.." Dani whispers into the kiss. Jamie's hips buck and she gasps. Dani watches as she nods and so she adjusts her position to slide down Jamie's body. 

She has no idea what time it is or how long they had been in bed. She has no idea how loud she had been when Jamie brought her to new dizzying heights. But what she did know, is that when she pushed her tongue against Jamie's clit and heard her moan, she didn't ever want to stop. 

It wasn't long until Jamie was pulling on her hair, tugging and whispering her name. "Dani, I'm coming." 

Dani kept the pace of her tongue going until Jamie's legs closed around her face, forcing her to stop. That right there was the single, most hottest thing that she had ever experienced and she grinned, looking up at Jamie. 

Jamie pulled on her arm, encouraging her back up the bed and Dani gladly obliged. She lay beside her, one leg over Jamie's thighs. The pair of them lay looking at eachother, catching their breath.

"You're... wow." Jamie grinned. 

Dani laughed and kissed Jamie on the lips, holding her close as she did.

-

The rest of the evening was spent in bed, the TV on and Chinese ordered. Jamie sat against the headboard whilst Dani rested her head on her chest, cuddling into her as close as she could. Dani had grabbed Jamie's shirt from her bag a little while ago and put it on, just that and her underwear, much to Jamie's enjoyment. 

"I'm never getting that shirt back am I?" Jamie laughed as she held Dani close. 

"I'm afraid not."

"Looks better on you anyway." Jamie kissed the top of her head.

 _This_ is how it was meant to feel. This whole experience is how sex is supposed to feel, Dani thinks. How it's supposed to feel with someone you actually _want_ to be with. 

-

The morning after, Dani wakes in the bed alone, the smell of syrup and smoke in the air. She stretches before standing up and walking to the door. She sees Jamie sat at the window seat, a book in one hand and a cigarette in the other, completely oblivious to Dani entering the room. 

"Good morning." Dani speaks softly as she approaches. 

Jamie looks over at her. She drops the book onto the window cill, puts out the cigarette and smiles. "Mornin' gorgeous." 

Dani sinks into her arms, her back against Jamie's front as she sits between her legs. She feels Jamie's arms wrap around her. 

"Have you been up long?" Dani asks. 

"Not really. I've made syrup pancakes for breakfast when you're ready." 

Dani looks back at her, quite surprised actually. "You made pancakes?" 

Jamie laughs, nodding her head. "Yep. I'm full of surprises, I know." 

Dani sits forward and then turns around so she is facing Jamie. The seat is long, like a bench built into the bottom of the window, covered with cushions and blankets. She crosses her legs and leans forward, elbows on her knees. 

"What other surprises do you have up your sleeve?"

She watches as Jamie leans back against the wall and smirks. "I can't give away all my secrets, Poppins."

Dani laughs and nods. "So we are going bowling on Saturday. Would you like to come?"

"Seriously? I love bowling. Count me in." 

Dani smiles, she hasn't even left Jamie's place yet and is already looking forward to seeing her again. Her mind wanders back to last night for a moment, her heartbeat speeds up at the thought. 

"I had a great time last night." She says, her voice a little lower and softer. 

Jamie smirks, she leans forward and places her hand on Dani's knee. "Oh, I _know_." She laughs and scratches Dani's skin under her hand lightly. "I had a great time too. Can't say I rated the movie though." Jamie winks.

Dani blushes, she looks down for a moment and smiles, biting her lip. "Yeah I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to be alone with you." The words just kind of fell out, she wasn't intending to be so honest, but Jamie is staring at her mouth now and she suddenly feels brave. She puts her hand over Jamie's thats still resting on her knee and she traces the index finger with her own. 

Jamie gasps a little and leans forward, she puts her free hand on the side of Dani's face and moves in for a kiss, leaning the blonde back. Dani uncrosses her legs and places them either side of Jamie's body. She kisses her back, it's soft and slow, nothing like their hungry embraces from the night before.

Jamie trails her kisses from Dani's lips to her neck. Softly kissing the skin. Dani feels her stomach flip, the butterflies in her stomach are flapping away and the fire between her legs reignited. She lets out a light moan, her hands wrapped around Jamie's back and in her hair again. Just as she thinks this is about to go further, as she is _wishing_ it is about to go further, Jamie pulls away. 

"I have to go to work this morning." She smirks, proud of herself for getting Dani worked up again, it seems.

Dani puts her head back on the wall and laughs. "Such a tease." She whispers. 

Jamie stands up and walks over to the kitchen. "Pancakes?" The little look over her shoulder with her signature smile makes Dani's heart skip a beat and so all she can manage is a nod. 

After breakfast and stealing the spare toothbrush from the packet in the bathroom to brush her teeth, Dani gets herself dressed whilst Jamie is getting ready for work. In the living room, she sits on the sofa and takes out her phone. There's a few messages there but they can wait. 

Jamie enters the room dressed in grey overalls and a bandana holding her hair back. She looks hot and Dani can't help her stare, she's just glad that Jamie isn't looking back at her.

"Yanno its rude to stare?" Jamie laughs, still tying the laces on her boots.

 _Shit._ Dani laughs and stands up. "Sorry, you just look.." She stands from the sofa and walks over to her. Jamie stands up right and wraps her arms around Dani's back.

"I just look...?" Jamie asks with a smirk. 

Dani doesn't answer, just puts one hand on the side of Jamie's face and kisses her. The kind of kiss that leaves the both of them longing for more. Slow and tender at first, then tongue and teeth and light moans of enjoyment. They pull away after a few moments. "I'll see you on Saturday then?" Dani says. 

Jamie nods and Dani secretly wonders if she can actually wait another 2 days before seeing her again. She won't say it aloud though. 

-


	11. see my lips on her mouth, everybody's talking now

If anyone were to ask, Dani really wouldn't know how best to explain how she has ended up in her current situation. Something so out of character and _risky._ Something so wild and _hot_. Pressed up against a wall in a dark, secluded area of a nightclub with Jamie's mouth on her neck, knickers half way down her thighs and Jamie's fingers inside her. 

I guess you could say it started 2 days ago on Thursday morning when she last saw the gardener. After the night they spent together, their _first_ night together. There had been a series of racy text messages between then and this evening. A good few hours between when they first laid eyes on eachother earlier tonight and Dani leading Jamie to a secret place just to feel her touch.

It went a little something like this.. 

-

Dani is sat in her garden with Rebecca. They have been slowly drinking a bottle of wine for the best part of the afternoon whilst Becca peruses the 3 different dating apps she has become obsessed with. They had finished for the school half term on Wednesday, it is now Saturday and they have plans to go bowling this evening with Owen and Hannah, and of course Dani invited Jamie along, which the others were happy with since they really get on. 

Dani sips her wine and looks over at Becca, she inhales through her teeth. "Any luck?" 

"Not yet I'm afraid. Not all of us can get lucky with hot gardeners." 

Dani laughs. Because it's _so_ true. "I'll give you that."

"Oh so you're _finally_ admitting you got lucky?" Becca raises her eyebrows with a cheeky smile on her face. 

"You can keep asking and I will keep not answering." Dani bites her bottom lip and smiles, before sipping her wine.

Becca shakes her head and chuckles, mumbling something under her breath. Dani lets her mind wander to the night she spent with Jamie and smiles to herself. They hadn't seen eachother since Thursday morning and it's been _hell_. All Dani had wanted to do was be with Jamie. Be under Jamie. Be _in_ Jamie. But what she had realised is that the gardener really is a work horse, she does various jobs around the town and is the main landscaper for the large Manor just outside town. 

Although it's frustrating, Dani really admires Jamie for it. She pours all her hard work and love into her job and really thrives off the outcome. But selfishly, she wishes it was her she was pouring her hard work and love into, in any and every way possible. 

"Oh! What about this guy?" Becca puts her phone in Dani's face, revealing a picture of a guy called Luke, smiling at the camera with his dog by his side. 

"He's cute! The guy isn't too bad either." Becca laughs at her and sits back in her seat, swiping whichever way it is that means she wants to match with him. Dani rolls her eyes and sips her wine. 

"We should get going soon. Shall I get an uber?"

Rebecca nods and just grunts, waving her hand and continuing to type with the other. Dani books the taxi on the app. They're running a bit early but they have already planned to get a drink at the bar and have a game of pool before the others arrive.

The bowling alley is pretty busy, at half 6 on a Saturday, it's about the time that the families leave and the groups of adults take their places to get shit faced and launch heavy balls down an alley into some pins. 

"What are you drinking? I'll get them in." Dani asks Rebecca as she sets up the pool table. 

"Ooh, I'll have a pint and a sambuca." Becca smiles with her whole mouth, she clearly has plans tonight. 

Dani laughs and walks towards the bar. She studies the other people waiting, a group of men and women at the other end of the bar, drinking and chatting. They look like they're just out of college. When the bartender approaches, he smiles at her and leans with his hands on the bar.

"What can I get you?" He asks with a raised brow and Dani swears he looks her up and down and, was that a wink? 

"I'll have 2 pints of lager and 2 sambuca's, please." She replies quite dryly. 

"Make that 3 of each please, mate." A familiar voice sounds from beside her.

Dani turns her head at breakneck speed as she realises who it is. It's Jamie. She smiles ear to ear at the sight of her and it takes everything to not jump on her there and then. 

Jamie looks at her as the bartender walks away, with that half smile and she puts one arm around her waist, pulling her in. "Hey, Poppins." It's almost a whisper and it makes Dani melt. 

"Hey.." Dani takes a deep breath and leans into her, letting herself be pulled in by the waist. "You look amazing." 

Honestly she hadn't even looked at what Jamie was wearing, just her face. Her perfect, soft skin and curly hair thats kept out of her face with a bandana. 

Jamie raises an eyebrow and leans in to whisper in her ear. "I love the dress." 

Dani blushes. She did choose a dress, a long sleeved tight at the top but flowy at the bottom dress that she knew provided easier access should it be needed. But that little thought would be kept to herself. 

The bartender returns and puts the drinks on the bar. His mouth drops open at little at the sight of Jamie whispering in Dani's ear, watching how close their bodies are. 

"Thank you." Dani says to him and goes to hand him her credit card. 

Jamie stops her and replaces it with her instead. The guy takes it with a huff. 

"Think I just ruined his night, huh?" Jamie laughs quietly. 

"I wasn't imagining it then?" Dani whispers. 

Jamie scoffs and shakes her head. The bartender returns with her card and hands it back. The two take the drinks over to the table that Becca is sat at and place them down. 

"Here ya go, Becs." Jamie says with a smile.

Becca pics up her shot, raising it a little, so Dani and Jamie do the same. 

"Here's to.. a great night, great friends.. and great sex!" She winks at Dani before drinking the shot in one go.

Dani and Jamie follow suit but Dani can't help the blush on her cheeks as she watches Jamie lick her lips. She turns to the pool table to distract herself.

"Who's ass am I kicking first?" 

Becca jumps up, grabbing the other pool cue. Hannah and Owen turn up just a minute later so Jamie has company at the table now. The three of them sit and talk whilst Dani and Becca play pool. 

Dani never pretended to be good at pool, in fact she was god awful at it, but it meant that her and Becca spent the whole time laughing at how shit eachother are at it. There were glances between her and Jamie, lingering looks and smiles and biting of lips. Which is why when she looked over at Jamie again she was shocked to see that she was frowning, she looked pissed off actually.

But she isn't looking at Dani, she is looking behind her, over her shoulder. And before Dani had a chance to look to see what was going on, she felt a hand on her ass. A strong slap and then grab, followed by a towering weight behind her, practically pushing her into the pool table. 

In a split second, Jamie was by her side. It all happened so fast and she didn't even notice when Jamie had taken the pool cue out of her hand.

"Get the fuck off her before I wrap this pool cue around your fuckin' skull." Jamie snarled. She didn't shout. She stared at this guy right in his eyes as he took a step back. Dani managed to slide out of the way now, being pulled to the side by Becca and away from both this guy and Jamie. 

Owen appeared at Jamie's side now. The guy looked down at her with a cocky smirk and held his hands up as he began walking backwards slowly. He muttered something that Dani didn't hear before he turned around to join the rest of his friends. 

Jamie dropped the pool cue on to the table and walked over to Dani, putting both her hands on either side of her face and looking into her eyes. "Y'alright, Poppins?"

Dani nodded quickly. Although she was startled, she wasn't hurt. She planted a kiss on Jamie's mouth, holding her arms at her elbows. She smiled into the kiss before pulling back. Regardless of what just happened, she couldn't help but think how fucking hot it was, having Jamie stand up for her and threaten a guy twice her size. 

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to spend the rest of my life fighting guys off you?" Jamie laughs. 

Dani pretends not to read too much into that statement. _The rest of her life_. She laughs back. Despite the commotion, the rest of the bar didn't seem to realise what had happened, probably because Jamie kept her cool and didn't shout, she hadn't caused a scene although Dani knew she really meant what she said to that guy. 

The buzzer in Owens hand lights up and vibrates, signalling that their lanes are ready. 

"Lets bowl, ladies!" Owen shouts in his animated but charming way and he leads them down to the lane. 

Dani walks with Jamie, hand in hand to where they will spend the next hour or two. They order a round of drinks, followed by another 3 throughout their time bowling and Owen has let himself get a little tipsy. He sits beside his wife, looks her deep in the eyes, bops her on the nose with his index finger and says. 

"You are adora-bowl"

He laughs. And of course Hannah laughs too because she always does. 

"God, even for you." She says softly, holding his hand on her lap. 

Surprisingly, Becca wins the game by one point. She blames it on the alcohol. Jamie came second. She blames it on the stupid fuckin' machine that didn't count her strike as a strike. Dani laughs at them, downing the rest of her pint. They make their way out of the bowling alley and into the town. 

They end up in a bar close by, it's a nightclub actually, courtesy of Rebecca since she won the bowling, she got to pick. Dani watches as Jamie pulls her face at the stamp the idiot on the door insisted on pressing into her skin and she can't help but laugh at how cute it is. 

Inside the club it's dark, the music is loud and there's a bright blue light casting a hue of colour everywhere. The group head to the bar and order their drinks. Dani has switched to rum and coke now, as has Jamie. 

Becca pulls Dani and Hannah to the dancefloor. Dani doesn't usually dance, but she's pretty drunk. She makes it half way to the dancefloor before she turns back and presses herself into Jamie's body, kissing her. It's hard and passionate but quick and before Jamie has chance to open her eyes, Dani has disappeared back to the dancefloor.

Dani watches as Jamie and Owen leave the room towards the smoking area. Becca has caught the eye of a guy on one side of the room who is heading over to make a move by the look of it. These three have been friends for years, so they have secret looks that only they understand if they need rescuing. Or rather, Becca does. 

Hannah goes back to Owen when he returns to the room, but Dani can't see Jamie with him. As she turns around, she's face to face with her, Jamie's hands already resting on her hips as they sway with the tune of the music. Jamie pulls her in closer and rests her forehead against Dani's and that's when she decides she can't wait any longer, she puts one hand around the back of Jamie's neck and pulls her in, her lips softly pressing against Jamie's for a kiss, and then there's tongues invading eachothers mouth, much too steamy for a dancefloor. 

Dani grabs Jamie's hand and pulls her away towards the bathroom, but turns down a staff hallway and into a little space filled with empty crates and beer kegs. The music still echoes through the halls, some Miley Cyrus song.

Dani wastes no time in pushing Jamie up against a wall with some force before kissing her. She bites down on her lip, tugging it and looking up into her eyes. Now it could be the alcohol or it could be Jamie but holy fuck she feels like she _needs_ Jamie right now. She's never felt this hunger for a person before, so when Jamie slides both hands down her back and grabs her ass, pulling Dani in closer whilst pushing her thigh between her legs, Dani decides it's not the alcohol, it's _Jamie_. 

"Fuck.." Dani whispers into the kiss as she feels the friction of Jamie's leg against her. 

Jamie smirks and she spins Dani around, pushing her back against the wall. She kisses her repeatedly, all the while moving her hands down her sides. One rests on her waist whilst the other gathers material from her dress and lifts it slowly. Dani is panting, her hands in Jamie's hair and her body arching just to get any kind of friction. 

"Fuck me, Jamie." She speaks through gritted teeth.

-

So now, as she moans a little too loudly, Jamie puts one hand over her mouth to try to keep her quiet, her other hand still busy, fingers curling inside Dani and pressing into just the right spot. Dani feels her knees go weak, her legs tremble and she comes. Hard and fast, right there in the back of a nightclub. 

She slumps against Jamie, the pair of them laugh as they realise that really _did_ just happen. And neither of them care. 

Jamie pulls Dani in close, nibbling on her earlobe. "I'm not done with you yet.." She whispers.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed. Next chapter in a few days hopefully!
> 
> Title from: Midnight Sun by Miley Cyrus


	12. i wanna feel you from the inside

-

2am, 2 fucking am by the time they get back to Dani's house. Becca drank double her body weight in alcohol, threw up outside the club and really wasn't in any fit state to be taken home and left alone. So a game of "heads or tails" between Jamie and Dani and Owen and Hannah determined who got to babysit. Owen and Hannah won. 

"Fuck sake, Becca." Jamie groaned as she practically carried her into Dani's house. 

Dani, a little bit drunk, found it hilarious actually. She stumbled in behind them and locked the door. Becca joined in the laughter and looked up at Jamie. 

"Fucks sakes yourself, Jimae." Becca slurred and then laughed heartily. "Take me to bed." 

"Hey!" Dani shouted from the kitchen where she was grabbing as many bottles of water as she could manage. "Thats my hot gardener!" 

Jamie laughed as she looked at Dani, raising an eyebrow. That's right, she didn't know that that's how Becca described her to Dani sometimes. Dani just smiled back at her and headed down the hallway. She opened the spare bedroom door with her elbow and headed in, dropping the water bottles onto the bed. She absolutely knew Becca would require at least half of these, so she took 2 back. 

Jamie entered the room a moment later and dropped Becca onto the bed. "Right, I'll let you get her changed." 

Dani shut the door and helped Becca take off her shoes and pants, she could sleep in her top and underwear. 

"Go to sleep. And stay asleep." Dani spoke in a hushed tone as she tucked Becca into the duvet. Within seconds, Becca was passed out. Dani left the room and headed back to the living room, where Jamie was sitting on the sofa. 

"Thanks for that. She's a nightmare when she gets in these states." Dani said. 

"S'alright, love. We've all been there."

Dani smiles at the term of endearment, sitting down next to Jamie and resting her head on her shoulder. Jamie lifts her arm and wraps it around Dani, pulling her in closer so Dani's head is resting on her chest.

"Jamie?" 

"Mhmm?"

Dani looks up at her, her arm tightening around Jamie's side as she cuddles into her. "Will you stay tonight?" 

"Of course I will." 

She knew she would. She knew even after their intimate encounter in the nightclub that they would be together for the rest of the night, although she didn't expect to be spending it looking after a drunk woman-child. 

They're silent on the sofa for a good 10 minutes or so, listening out just in case Becca wakes up to be sick again, which Dani had explained earlier was highly likely, many a night had she spent holding back her hair. 

The two retire to the bedroom. Dani changes into nightwear, purposely picking her least sexy items so it wasn't _too_ tempting. Jamie stole a pair of Dani's night shorts, which Dani pulled her face at because its not fair that she gets to look like _that._

Under the covers, Dani slides her legs under Jamie's, inching closer to her and into a cuddle. "Mmm" she hums softly and Jamie squeezes her in response. Dani's head is swimming and she can't help her wandering hand, sliding it's way up Jamie's leg. 

"You're playing a dangerous game, Poppins." Jamie whispers, taking a sharp inhale as Dani's fingers slide inside one leg of her shorts.

"I think we can safely say that what we got up to earlier was more dangerous." Dani chuckled a little. 

Jamie laughs, putting her head back onto the headboard and biting her lip. 

"However." Dani moved her hand away, resting it on Jamie's stomach. "I think you're right." 

"Oh you fuckin' tease."

"Correct." 

Jamie turns her head to look at Dani, placing two fingers under the blonde's chin and lifting her face so she's looking her right in the eyes. "I hope you know I'll get you back."

Dani shivers and bites her lip. "I hope you know I'll enjoy it."

-

The morning after, Jamie stands at the back door with a cigarette whilst Dani sits at the kitchen island, not so subtly staring. The two had already showered and Dani managed to dig out an oversized grey college tshirt that Jamie is wearing.

"Becca still sleeping?" Jamie asks as she puffs out some smoke. 

"I checked on her while you were in the shower, she's out of it." Dani watches water drips from Jamie's wet hair, mesmerised by the shape of her jawline and the way her lips look when there's plumes of smoke coming out of them. 

"Dani?" A low and distant voice sounds from down the hall. 

Dani laughs and stands from her seat, before walking down the hall and into her spare room. What she finds is entirely unexpected. Rebecca sitting upright in the bed, her long brown hair is practically matted and sticking out in every direction. Her eyes are closed and she is groaning. 

"Kill. Me. Now." Becca says, before putting her head in her hands. 

Dani laughs and sits on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Becca's leg.

"I'm so sorry, Dani. I don't even remember us getting back here." 

"It's alright. Jamie had to carry you in, you were so far gone." Dani lets out a little chuckle. 

"Do you mind if I shower?" Becca asks. 

Dani stands up, grabs a towel from the chair in the corner of the room, along with a bag that was on the floor. Since this has happened before, they decided an emergency bag would be wise, filled with spare clothes and toiletries for Becca. Dani places it and the towel on the bed and nods. 

"No problem. We'll be in the living room when you're done. 

"Oh, Jamie is still here?" Despite the major hangover, Becca winks and flashes a big smile. 

Dani laughs and hears a loud knock on the front door. She frowns, wondering who it could be, and she hears Jamie open the door. There's silence and then..

"Dani?" 

She leaves the bedroom and walks towards the front door. Her mouth drops open when she sees Jamie holding the door open and standing outside is Eddie. _Fuck._

Jamie turns around, she knows who he is, she gives Dani a knowing look and grazes her hand with her own as she walks past her, leaving her standing there with Eddie. 

"Danielle, what is sh-"

"What are you doing here, Eddie?" Dani cuts him off.

He steps forward into the house. Dani takes a small step back. 

"I've come to see you. I've given it some time, given _you_ some time. And I want to come home, I want you to stop with this silliness so we can be together." 

Dani laughs. She can't help it, he is being ridiculous. His brows furrow when she laughs and he looks confused. 

"What? Danielle, whats going on? You can't be serious about this gay thing, you're not gay. And I'm sorry but.." He steps forward again and looks into the kitchen, where Jamie is sitting with her back to them. "What is _she_ doing here?" 

Dani looks behind her to Jamie, who she knew could hear but was politely giving them some privacy. Then, she realises, she doesn't really know how to answer that question. She could tell him that they're friends. No, that's not good enough. 

"She's my.. Jamie." The words just slip out of her mouth like they're meant to be there. Like she's said them so many times. _She's my Jamie_. 

Eddie scoffs. "So I was right then?"

"No, Edmund. I told you, I didn't cheat on you."

"But you're fucking her now, aren't you?" He's angry. 

"I don't think that's any of your business." Dani folds her arms across her stomach. Why did he have to be so crude about it? "I think you should leave." 

Eddie shakes his head. His entire body shaking. "I was willing to give you another chance, Danielle. I was willing to let all this go and take you back so we could have a life together like we always planned. Get married, start a family but-"

"No, Eddie. It's not what _we_ had planned. You did. You and your mother and my mother. You were my best friend and I had to fall in line to what everyone else thought was best for me. I want you to be happy, I want you to find someone that wants all that stuff with you. But it's not me, Eddie." 

Eddie pushes his glasses back up his nose, his shoulders slump and he takes a small step back. Dani steps forward, her hand on the door and she watches as her once best friend turns and walks away with no other words. She knows she has broken his heart all over again and can't help but feel bad about that. She closes the door and heads back to the kitchen. 

Jamie is looking at her now, her expression is one of concern and she stands as soon as Dani approaches her. 

"Y'alright, Poppins?" She grabs Dani's hand, pulling her into a hug and wrapping her arms around her.

"Yeah. I'm good." Dani says as she pulls her head back to look at Jamie. 

Jamie leans back against the counter behind her, keeping hold of Dani. She smirks and Dani, as always, melts into it. 

"So.. I'm your Jamie, huh?" 

Dani laughs, blushes and dips her head nods. "Yeah. I didnt really know what else to say." 

"Well, I think you did a great job explaining it."

Dani looks back up and smiles, then she sees Jamie looking at her lips and how the fuck does it only take _that_ to make her want her right here and now? Dani leans in, kissing Jamie's lips, their tongues finding eachother instantly and they begin a hungry embrace. 

"Um.." 

Dani jumps, so fully invested in the kiss that she hadn't heard Becca's bedroom door close and the sound of footsteps down the hallway.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything." She laughs, walking around the kitchen towards the fridge. 

Dani steps back, a little embarrassed because that was _some_ kiss.

"How you feeling?" Jamie asks her, turning around and leaning with her elbows on the counter to look over at Becca. Dani watches her every move, the way her back arches down, her ass, her legs and now she _really_ wishes they had won that game of heads or tails last night. 

"Better after showering, thanks." Becca turns around and takes a big sip of the bottle of water in her hand. "I think I owe you a big thank you. I beleive you carried me in last night."

Jamie laughs and nods. "No worries, kid." 

Dani heads around the kitchen to stand beside Becca. "So what are your plans today?" 

Becca sighs and shrugs her shoulders. "Probably head home soon and sleep the day away. Did I.. " She paused for a second, looking over at Jamie and then quickly back at Dani. "Did I hear _Eddie_ here before?" 

Dani laughed, nodding her head. "Yep." She popped the 'p'. 

Becca pulled her face and Jamie laughed. "Take it you're not a fan?" She asked. 

"Ha! The guy was a fucking puppet master." Becca scoffed, but she quickly stopped talking and Dani could tell she was biting her tongue. 

Jamie didn't press, but gave Becca a look that suggested they would discuss that another time.

Dani stayed silent. She didn't really want to talk about it. The thought of her life with Eddie made her feel nauseous and now she was _finally_ happy and doing what she wanted to do, she didn't want to dwell on the past. 

Becca grabbed her phone from the counter and silently replied to some messages she had on there. Dani looked over at Jamie, who was looking at her body, her eyes tracing the curves of her thighs, her hips, her breasts and it was like Dani could _feel_ it. She could feel the journey Jamie's eyes were taking and wished so hard that it would be repeated the second they get some privacy with Jamie's tongue. 

Becca cleared her throat, letting out a sigh and putting her phone away. "Right, I'm gonna shoot. A walk will do me some good." She headed over to the door. "You kids have fun now." She turned and looked at Dani, a big grin on her face and a wink as she left the house. 

-

It felt like it was mere seconds that Becca was out of the door before Jamie's hands were in Dani's hair. Dani already moaning into her mouth. The hunger had been growing since the night before, the promise of more still lingered on Jamie's lips and Dani could taste it. 

The bedroom door slammed shut behind them and Jamie pushed Dani against it, kissing her with everything she had. 

"Jamie.." She whispered into the kiss. "Please." 

Jamie smiled, her hands working their way up Dani's stomach under her tshirt, before pulling it up and over her head. Dani hadn't put a bra on after her shower and Jamie seemed pleased about that, caressing both breasts at the same time, tweaking her nipples between her thumbs and index fingers as she kisses her. Dani moans and closes her eyes. She feels Jamie step back and when she opens her eyes she can see Jamie's bare chest too. It seems they both had the same idea. 

Dani took the opportunity to step forward, pushing Jamie back onto the bed. The brunette fell onto her back and grinned as Dani followed, straddling her and leaning down to kiss her. But Dani didn't kiss her lips, instead she kissed her chest, moving from one nipple to the other and leaving them both wet with kisses. Jamie moaned underneath her. 

Although this was entirely new to Dani, she felt as though she had done this with Jamie a thousand times. There was never an awkward moment or any time she felt embarrassed. Dani slid her body down between Jamie's legs, kneeling on the floor at the bottom of the bed now. Jamie scooched down, leaning up on her elbows. 

Dani unbuttoned Jamie's jeans and pulled them down and off her legs. She was surprised in the best way possible to see that Jamie had no underwear on and could see the shimmer of her arousal already. She looked up at Jamie, who was just biting her lip and smirking. _That fucking smirk_. Dani stood up just for a moment to remove her own clothes, it was only fair they were both naked, right? 

"Jesus, Poppins." Jamie whispered as she watched Dani sink back to her knees at the bottom of the bed. 

Dani kissed Jamie's right knee, slowly moving the kisses up her inner thigh, higher and higher and listening closely as Jamie's breathing quickened. She put her hands either side of Jamie's hips and pulled, edging her closer to the end of the bed.

She looked up at Jamie, who was still watching her. She didn't break the stare as her tongue met Jamie's folds, sinking in to land directly on her clitoris and she moved it slowly. She moaned as she tasted Jamie, she moaned again when she felt Jamie's hand in her hair and she moaned again when Jamie said her name through gritted teeth. 

Jamie begins to wind her hips in the same motion that Dani's tongue is doing. And she knows she is going slow, _too_ slow probably, but her aim is to wind Jamie up so tight that when she crashes, she will really fall. 

"Fuck, Dani." 

She quickens the pace just a little bit, moving one hand from behind Jamie's ass, to between her legs and teasing her entrance. 

"Dani." 

It sounds like a beg. And to be honest, it was so fucking hot that she doesn't think she can deny it. She pushes one finger inside her slowly, before pulling it almost all the way back out. Her tongue quickens and Jamie is tightening the grip on her hair. She pushes her finger back in, curling this time. 

Jamie falls back onto the bed, unable to keep herself up anymore. Dani smiles against her and continues the motion with her tongue, matching the curl of her finger with the speed. Jamie is moaning, her body arching off the bed and her free hand gripping onto the bed sheets. Dani thinks it may be the greatest sight she has ever seen. 

She doesn't think about this next part. She just does it instinctively. She adds another finger, thrusting in and out this time, her tongue speeding up. Her jaw is aching but she will not stop, she can see Jamie getting closer, she can feel her tighten around her fingers and she can most definitely hear the noises, the panting and the curses coming from her mouth. 

She pushes her fingers deep inside Jamie, curling them and pressing as fast as she can, she realises she can't feel her tongue anymore. 

"I'm gonna.." Jamie moans loudly, her head lifting to look down at Dani. She doesn't finish the sentence, but Dani understands. Within seconds, she feels Jamie's walls tighten around her, her legs shaking, hips bucking and her head back on the bed again. She can feel her _everywhere_. Her face, her hand, her arm and holy fuck; her chest. She loves it. She did that. 

She rides out Jamie's orgasm with her, her fingers still moving slowly inside her. She rests her head on Jamie's leg, trying to catch her own breath. 

Jamie leans up again, she's reaching down for Dani, pulling on her arm. Dani obliges, slowly removing her fingers and sliding up Jamie's body. Hovering over her, she looks down at Jamie, who wraps her arms around her back and holds her. 

"Do you realise what you just did?" Jamie asked, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. 

"What?" Dani asks a little confused, instantly worrying that she had done something wrong. 

Jamie looks down at Dani's chest. "You made me squirt." She whispered. "All over you."

Dani's mouth dropped open as she realised. 

"That's never happened before." Jamie laughed. 

Dani blushed, she planted a kiss on Jamie's lips, smiling into it as she did. Jamie held onto her, harder than ever and held their bodies close. Their tongues gliding slowly against eachother. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got away from me a bit tbh. Had a really shitty week in work so hope it doesn't reflect here.  
> All comments appreciated.
> 
> Chapter title from: Closer by In This Moment. (Cause this song is so much hotter sung by a woman)


	13. damn, you leave me defenseless

-

"How the fuck is it December already?" Jamie grumbled as she stood on her tip toes, wrapping a length of tinsel around a Christmas tree. 

Dani sits on the floor, looking up at Jamie, she's smiling like she has been all day, but this time she isn't smiling because its Christmas decoration day, she is smiling because Jamie reaching up gives her a perfect view of her ass and the exposed skin of the small of her back as her top rides up. 

"Seriously, where has the year gone? Last I remember it was July and way too fuckin hot. Now its December and I'm freezing me tits off on a daily basis." 

Dani barely hears the words, just sounds. She's biting her lip now, her eyes tracing down Jamie's legs. 

"Poppins?" Jamie says, still busy with the tree. 

"Hm?" Dani snaps back to reality.

"Where were you, love?" Jamie laughs as she turns around. 

Dani looks up at her. "Oh, sorry. I was in a world of my own there." Her tongue creeps out and moistens her bottom lip, before giving Jamie a smile. 

Jamie laughs and raises an eyebrow. She always manages to see right through Dani. She joins Dani on the floor, sitting in front of her. Dani notes that the room smells like tinsel; metallic, but she can also smell Jamie's perfume. 

"Care for some company in that world of your own?" Jamie asks with a smirk. 

Dani smiles and leans forward, she kneels up before sliding herself into Jamie's lap, letting herself be held. "Yes please." She whispers, just centimeters from Jamie's face now. 

Jamie presses her lips gently against Dani's and that's all it takes. Dani pulls Jamie's top up over her head, before repeating the process with her own. Dani moans as she feels their skin touch, so warm and soft and she kisses her, hard on the lips, her tongue impatiently pushing into Jamie's mouth, which was gladly accepted by the brunette.

The Christmas decorations covered the living room floor of Dani's house. Jamie had plugged in the fairy lights that they had bought to check they all worked and so they lay accross the floor. Dani noticed how the little lights glistened off Jamie's skin. She reached behind herself and unclipped her bra, throwing it to one side, before turning her attention to Jamie's. 

"Christ, Poppins." Jamie breathed heavily. Her hands ran up under Dani's skirt, scratching her nails along the bare skin of her thigh. Dani lifted up a little so the skirt would ride up to her hips and Jamie gasped. They continued to kiss, stopping only when breathing became absolutely necessary. 

"Jamie.." Dani whispers, her hips grinding into Jamie's lap trying to get any kind of friction possible. 

Jamie makes a noise that could only be described as a low growl and _fuck_ , Dani likes the sound of that. She pushes herself harder into Jamie, her mouth now resting just beside her ear and she feels Jamie's finger nails dig into her back. The sensation makes Dani inhale through gritted teeth and before she knows it, one of Jamie's hands is pressing against her already wet underwear. 

Dani bites Jamie's ear lobe, before sucking a little. Jamie presses her hand against her repeatedly in circular motions and Dani moans. She knows how much it turns Jamie on to hear those noises in her ear and loves they way it spurs her on. Dani runs one hand up into Jamie's hair and pulls a little. 

She feels Jamie move her underwear to one side and graze her fingertips against her wetness. The touch sends a wave of pleasure through Dani, her breathing is heavy and she whispers "please" so quietly that it would be inaudible if she weren't so close to Jamie's ear. 

Jamie obliges, one finger slipping inside Dani and curling. Dani holds her breath as she feels it and she can't help grinding her hips again at the feeling of Jamie inside her. She lets out her breath and as she lifts just a little bit, Jamie adds another finger. The sensation almost knocks Dani over, she tightens the grip on Jamie's body and pulls harder on her hair, as if trying to keep herself upright. She continues the movement of her hips and almost immediately, her and Jamie are moving together at just the right pace. 

"Oh fuck, Jamie." Another whisper. Another growl from Jamie and the pressure intensifies inside her. Dani's eyes roll back and her head follows. Jamie sinks her teeth into Dani's now exposed neck, biting, sucking, licking and then kissing. 

Dani feels herself getting close. She brings her head back upright and looks into Jamie's eyes, pressing their foreheads together as they move in a perfect rhythm. Both of them breathing heavily, both of them moaning. 

When Jamie presses her thumb against Dani's clit, she feels her entire body tingle, she moans louder, her grip on Jamie's body tightens. "Oh god, baby." It's a little louder than she expected and she looks into Jamie's eyes. They're dark and full of passion, they're incredibly sexy and she can think of nothing better to be looking at.

Dani continues to ride whilst Jamie's thumb circles her clit perfectly. Within moments, she feels her legs shake, her walls tighten and with a repetitive 'yes' falling from her lips, she comes. Jamie kisses her in the height of it, her tongue finding Dani's instantly, the movement continuing until Dani can't take anymore and is holding Jamie's wrist, forcing her to stop. 

"Holy mother of god." Jamie says breathlessly as she buries her face into the crook of Dani's neck. 

Dani laughs in response, not because its funny, but because she is fucking flying. 

"Dani you're.. you're fucking incredible."

"Mm.." Dani hums because its literally all she can manage right now. Her head is spinning and she can't quit smiling. Jamie looks up at her again. 

"Y'alright there?" Jamie laughs. 

Dani looks down at her, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She nods. "Better than alright." She kisses Jamie on the lips. She feels Jamie's fingers slide out of her and she gasps at the sensation and smiles into the kiss. 

"So, Christmas decorating does it for you huh?" 

Dani playfully slaps Jamie on the arm and laughs. "No, _you_ do it for me." 

-

Later that afternoon, the Christmas tree has been decorated, the living room has been covered in traditional red, gold, tartan decorations. It makes it look a bit log cabin-y, very homely. 

Jamie has been in the kitchen for the best part of an hour on a video call with a colleague. Dani sits in the living room with a book, the fire on and a glass of wine in her hand. She looks over to the kitchen every now and then, watching as Jamie takes down notes. Jamie had explained earlier that there's a potential job coming up on a fancy estate, loosely translated to: a mansion for a rich family. 

Dani reads her book, but she finds herself with very little interest at the moment. She looks around the living room, admiring the work that her and Jamie had done. It took some convincing for Jamie to actually help, turns out she isn't a big fan of Christmas. 

The thought of the Christmas period plays on her mind. This will be the first year without Eddie for as long as she can remember. But honestly she is happy about it. Christmas was always so exhausting. Both of their families threw parties, hosted events and Dani _had_ to be there, standing by Eddie's side at all times. 

So this year, she wants something a little toned down, quiet. Spent with her friends and maybe, _hopefully,_ Jamie.

"Hey, I'm sorry that took so long." Jamie sighed as she sat beside Dani, taking her glass of wine from her hand and taking a big sip. 

Dani laughed and snatched the glass back. "Cheeky." 

"So I have some good news and some bad news." Jamie rests her head against the back of the sofa, turning it so she is looking at Dani.

"Yeah?" Dani asked, a little worried.

"The good news is that I got the job. We start next week." 

"That's amazing, Jamie! I'm so happy for you. You're going to leave that place looking t-" Dani stops talking mid sentence. "Wh... whats the bad news?"

Jamie frowns a little. "It's in Ohio. So I'll be gone for a week or so." 

Dani stares at her for a second, before nodding and offering a small smile. Christmas is literally around the corner, just over a week away. So she would be lying if she wasn't a little bit disappointed. Okay. _A lot_ disappointed. But she wouldn't tell Jamie that. 

"I pushed to leave it until the new year, but the owners are new and they want the gardens to be completed by the 26th for a party they're hosting." Jamie explains. She turns her body on the sofa to face Dani. "I'm really sorry, Dani."

"Hey, no, don't apologise. This is work. You don't like Christmas anyway. This will be good for you and I'm happy you got the contract." Dani tries her best to hide the sadness in her voice and grabs Jamie's hand, bringing it up to her lips and kissing her knuckles.

Jamie smiles back at her and Dani knows once again that Jamie can see right through her. "I'm not going to enjoy not being able to see you for over a week." 

"I know. Me neither. But it'll be okay, it's only a week. I'll still be here when you get back."

Jamie laughs. "You better be." 

Dani watches as Jamie looks around the room, her eyes sparkle against the lights and Dani feels her heart flutter. She doesn't go a minute in any given day without thinking of this woman. They barely go 2 days without seeing eachother anymore and although she doesn't mind sleeping alone, Dani found that she slept much better with Jamie beside her. 

The fuzzy feeling she gets in her stomach still happens everytime she looks at her, if anything it's only gotten stronger. Things seemed to get deeper when Dani met with her mother a few weeks ago to try to explain herself. She admitted she was seeing someone. Seeing _Jamie._ And she was happy. Jamie was getting on with Owen, Hannah and Becca; her and Owen even texted eachother often. Jamie has become a permanent fixture in Dani's life and she loves it. 

_Loves_ it.

"So when do you have to leave?" Dani asks.

Jamie looks at her. "I've gotta speak to the guys, but probably Sunday afternoon. It's a fair drive so probably have to stay in a motel overnight so we can actually start the work on Monday." Jamie stands from the sofa and holds out a hand to Dani, who accepts. They stand face to face. "I'll try to be back as soon as I can." 

Dani smiles, wrapping her arms around Jamie. "I know you will. You'll miss me too much otherwise." 

Jamie's laughs and purses her lips in amusement. "Yeah, I definitely will miss you." 

Something about those words coming out of Jamie's mouth made Dani's heart ache. They hadn't actually spoken about their feelings for eachother, hadn't talked about what they were, but it was enough for Dani because the way Jamie looks at her spoke volumes. 

The back of one of Jamie's hands strokes down Dani's jawline. It's warm. Soft. And it makes Dani smile. She looks at Jamie and has an idea. 

"Let me take you out tonight. To celebrate this. You've landed a brilliant contract and I'd like to treat you." 

Jamie smiles back at her. "Alright. What do you have in mind?"

-

Dani took Jamie to a restaurant, bought her a steak dinner, they shared a bottle of wine and Dani secretly arranged for Owen, Hannah, Becca and her new boyfriend to meet them at Portal 13 after. Jamie was pleasantly surprised when she saw them all walk in together. Dani shrugged in response. Using Christmas as an excuse and given that she's leaving the day after tomorrow, she wanted to spend some time with her and make sure she got to see her friends before hand. 

Numerous drinks later, they all end up sat outside on the patio. There's a fire pit going to keep them warm and the bar owners keep bringing out free drinks because 'Jamie is their favourite (and only) tenant'.

"Oh come on! The Beatles wipe the floor with The Stone Roses!" Owen shouts drunkenly over his beer at Jamie, spilling it on the floor. 

"Seriously Owen, I'm not having this argument with you again." Jamie laughs, she loves winding Owen up and knows just the right things to say. 

Dani watches as Owen tries to defend his point further. She looks right at Jamie, the smirk on her face a tell tale sign that she is indeed winding him up. Jamie looks back at Dani and winks and it makes Dani's stomach flip. She blushes. Even still, Jamie has the ability to make her feel like a lovestruck teenager with a crush. 

Becca leans in to Dani and whispers. "Have you told her yet?" 

Dani looks at her, her brows furrowed. "What?" She brings her drink up to her mouth.

Becca scooches along the bench to sit right beside her. "Jamie.. Have you told her you love her yet?" 

Dani almost chokes on her drink. The question caught her off guard. She puts her drink on the table and turns to face Becca. "What!?" 

Becca laughs. "Oh come on, Dani, it's so obvious!" 

Dani's mouth falls open in shock. She would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it. Jamie makes her feel _alive. Wanted. Beautiful._ Everything she never felt with Eddie. 

Dani looks back over at Jamie. She turns back to Becca and just smiles. The moment is interrupted by Becca's boyfriend planting a kiss on her cheek and whispering something in her ear. Dani takes the opportunity to look back over at Jamie. 

She does. Dani does love her. She _loves_ Jamie. 

Hannah breaks Dani's trance by walking in front of her and over to Owen. 

"I think it's time we got you home." Hannah held onto Owen's hand as she spoke to him. He looked at her with a big smile on his face and nodded. 

Jamie walked over to Dani and stood behind the bench, her hands resting on Dani's shoulders. 

"Enjoy Ohio, Jamie. And hey, Merry Christmas!" Owen exclaims enthusiastically. Hannah offers a wave and they walk out through the front of the pub.

Dani realises that Becca and her boyfriend have already disappeared so she stands up and turns to face Jamie.

"Had a good night?" 

Jamie walks around the bench and wraps her arms around Dani's waist. "It's been great."

"It's not over yet." Dani whispers, before kissing her just once. "I still have you for the rest of tonight and tomorrow."

"You're gonna be the death of me, Dani Clayton."

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your amazing support and comments. Honestly makes me so happy to know you're enjoying this fic.
> 
> Chapter title from: Halestorm - Break In


	14. i'm all alone and i need you now

-

It's Monday and Dani is sat behind her desk in the classroom. She taps her pen repeatedly against the desk, staring absentmindedly out of the window. She hears a child clear her throat and snaps back to reality. Dani looks over at the young girl in the front row who has her hand in the air. 

"Yes, Megan?"

"Please can I go to the toilet, Miss Clayton?" She asks with a sweet smile.

"Yes of course, take the toilet slip on your way out." 

The little girl jumps up from her seat and walks out of the door, grabbing the laminated peice of paper on her way so that if another teacher asks what she is doing wandering the halls, they know she has permission. 

The class is silent, they're writing a short story about Christmas that they will each take turns to read this afternoon. Tomorrow is the last day of school before they break up for the Christmas break and Dani has organised a party for her class, which a few other classes will be joining.

The little girl returns from the toilet and takes her seat. Shortly after, the bell rings signalling lunch and they all scatter. Dani heads towards the staff room and stares at the kettle for a moment. She is feeling a little low today, missing Jamie, unable to speak to her as much as she would like and everything she looks at reminds her of her favourite gardener. Her favourite person. Even a kettle. It's only been a bloody day.

"Don't even think about making a cup of tea, you." 

Dani turns in her heel and laughs as she sees Owen pointing at the kettle with a raised brow. 

"I think I've learnt my lesson." Dani leans back against the counter. "Care to do the honours?" 

Owen nods and steps forward. "So how are you doing? You look a little forlorn today." 

Dani sighs and nods. "A little, I guess. It's the time of year, you know? Different for me this year." 

"So it doesn't have anything to do with a certain someone who isn't here on the lead up? Christmas is only a few days away, after all." Owen presses, looking towards Dani with his eyes as he stirs the tea. 

"I mean, there's a lot of.. _stuff_. And yes I think her not being here adds to that. But it's purely selfish on my part. She doesn't celebrate Christmas and it's not like we had planned anything together." Dani shakes her head and sighs. 

Owen slides a cup of tea infront of Dani, offering a small smile. "But you're part of eachothers lives now, Dani. You're together, which means you're well within your rights to miss her when she's not around." 

Dani cradles her cup of tea and stares down at the liquid. Owen is right, but "I dont know that we are. Together, I mean. We spend most of our spare time together and I.. _God_ I miss her when she's not around. But we haven't exactly talked about what we are to eachother."

Owen sips his tea and ponders for a moment. "You know, Dani. Not everything has to have a label. You and Jamie have a connection, one that is obvious to anyone who sees you together. I see the way she looks at you, like you're the only person in the room. What you call yourselves is irrelevant when you make eachother happy. There's time enough for that conversation." 

Dani smiles. "You're right, thank you." She sips her tea and Owen pats her on the shoulder. 

Dinnertime passes quickly and Dani goes back to her classroom feeling much lighter than before, she thought about what Owen said and let it break down a wall inside her, allowing herself to feel happy about her situation.

When she thinks about it. _Really_ thinks about it, she has changed her life drastically in the last few months. With the wedding being called off, finally leaving Eddie to pursue her own happiness, being honest about who she _really_ is. And the best change, Jamie.

When the kids finish taking turns to tell their stories, Dani stands in front of them and thanks them for their hard work. She hands out a Christmas card to each of them from herself and wishes them a merry Christmas. The school bell goes shortly after and the kids run out. 

"Don't forget tomorrow is party day!" Dani shouts after them. 

Back at home, Dani wraps the Christmas presents she bought for her friends, along with a small gift she picked up for Jamie, even though she promised she wouldn't. 

She looks at the little wrapped box, marks it with a 'J' in gold marker and sits on the sofa. Her phone vibrates on the table. 

_From: Jamie [17.47pm]_

_I miss you._

_To: Jamie [17.47pm]_

_I miss you too. How's it going?_

_From: Jamie [17.49pm]_

_Slow. If it didn't go dark so early we would be able to continue until about 7 but we had to pack up early. Back out there at 6 tomorrow morning._

_._

_How has school been today?_

Dani sighs to herself, a little sad to hear it's going slowly. Jamie wasn't sure she would even make it back in time for Christmas day and it was looking more and more unlikely now. 

_To: Jamie [17.50pm]_

_It'll be worth it when it's finished. What is your client like?_

_._

_School was fine. Last day tomorrow which means it's party day._

_From: Jamie [17.51pm]_

_She's nice enough. Hardly see her tbh._

_._

_Ohh party day? The kids will love that. Any plans for the rest of the week? Owen said something about a party on Christmas eve._

_To: Jamie [17.52pm]_

_I'm meeting mom on Wednesday for lunch, then yeah, Owen's party on Thursday._

_From: Jamie [17.53pm]_

_He said something about it being fancy dress?_

_To: Jamie [17.53pm]_

_Haha, yep. I have my Mrs Claus dress ready and waiting._

_From: Jamie [17.54pm]_

_Holy shit, really? 😍_

_._

_I request pictures._

_._

_Many many pictures. 🔥_

_To: Jamie [17.55pm]_

_If you're lucky, I may wear it again when you're back._

_From: Jamie [17.53pm]_

_Yes please._

How, when she can't even see Jamie or hear her voice, can she make her blush? Dani lies back on the sofa, settling in to hopefully continue a text conversation with Jamie. A phone call would be much better, but Jamie is sharing an adjoining room with Dave and Kyle at the hotel. 

Dani jumps up, the TV on in the background and her phone resting on her chest. She looks at the time through squinted eyes. It's just gone 3am and she realises she had fallen asleep on the sofa. She looks at the text messages she had missed.

_From: Jamie [23_ _.35pm]_

_I agree, he's a piece of shit and she deserves better._

That was referencing Becca's new boyfriend, Peter. 

_From: Jamie [23_ _.55pm]_

_I'm guessing you've fallen asleep. Goodnight, Poppins. Feel free to join me in my dreams._

Dani can't help but smile, but she is so tired and it's so late. Jamie is probably well away by now. She heads to the bedroom and collapses on the bed, curling into the pillow that Jamie usually sleeps on and falls straight back to sleep.

The class Christmas party is _dull_ for adults. Lucky for Dani, she has Becca sat with her behind her desk whilst the kids dance and sing along to All I Want For Christmas for the third time this morning. 

"This fucking song, I swear." Dani says under her breath, only just loud enough for Becca to hear.

Becca laughs and sips her hot chocolate. "You're just bitter because all you want for Christmas is the sexy gardener." 

Dani sigs her elbow into Becca's rib. 

"Ow! Uncalled for!"

Dani scowls at her. But she's only joking. She had come to terms with the fact that she may not see Jamie over Christmas. And although it still upset her, at least she got to spend the time with Owen, Hannah and Becca. A hundred times better than her previous years with Eddie and his family and her drunk mother.

"I'm sure she'll make it up to me." Dani says before lifting her cup to her mouth and winking at Becca. 

Becca laughs. Dani hadn't been the type to be suggestive in that kind of way before Jamie, probably because she didn't enjoy sex before, not in the way Becca talked about it. 

The rest of the morning went by quite quickly and by lunch time, the school was closing up for the holidays. Dani found the walk home relaxing as she looked forward to the next couple of weeks off. However she wasn't looking forward to the lunch she had organised with her mom tomorrow. 

-

On Wednesday, Dani sits in a cafe waiting for her mother to arrive. This was only the second time they had met since her and Eddie broke up. It felt as though she was finally coming around to the idea that Dani would not be going back to him. The door opens, letting a gust of wind in along with a steady stream of snow. Her mom stands in the door way, shaking the flakes off her coat. Dani waves her over, she had already gotten a coffee ready for her. 

"Hi mom." Dani says as she sits. 

"Hi sweetheart." She sits opposite Dani and looks sheepishly around the cafe, before pulling a hip flask from her bag and pouring a generous amount into her coffee. The unmistakable smell of whiskey fills the space between them and Dani can't help but roll her eyes. "How have you been?" Her mom looks up at her. 

"Good. Great, actually. Finished for the holidays yesterday. How are you?"

"That's nice. I'm fine. Are you coming over on Christmas? Judy is hosting as usual."

Dani frowns. "No, mom. I'm having Christmas with Owen and Hannah." 

"Well thats just lovely."

"I told you this already. I'm not spending Christmas with my ex." Dani sips her coffee.

"Did you? Well I don't see why not. It might be what the two of you need."

Dani sighs. She feels irritated and with every conversation she has with her mother, it gets harder and harder not to snap. "It's not what I need, mom."

"Fine. Your decision. It's stupid, but whatever." Dani's mom drinks probably half of her coffee in one go, sitting back in her chair afterward. 

Dani ignores the comment. "You all ready for Christmas? I put my tree up on Friday night."

A nod. That's it.

"I got you a gift. Don't open it until Friday, though." Dani adds, and pushes a gift bag accross the table. 

"Thanks. I didn't get you anything this year. Short on cash, unfortunately."

"I don't mind. I only bought for a few people myself this year. You, Owen, Hannah, Rebecca and Jamie." 

"So you and Jamie are still...?" The tone is harsh, judgemental.

"Yes, we are."

Her mother just hums, finishing her coffee and pouring the rest of the whiskey into the now empty cup.

The rest of the time they spend together is quick, quiet and fucking uncomfortable. Dani had never had a perfect relationship with her mother, but when she was with Eddie it was like she accepted her. Now, she looked at her as though she didn't know her anymore. It was hurtful, but Dani was finally happy, so it hurt less and less every day. 

Dani checked in with Jamie every evening, when the gardener had finished working for the day. She was disappointed to find out things weren't running as smoothly as Jamie hoped. Dani came to the conclusion that she would indeed be spending Christmas alone. Not _alone._ But without Jamie. The weather and the time it takes to travel back from Ohio being a massive issue at this point, even if they did finish the job by Christmas eve.

Tomorrow is Christmas eve. 

There was a quick phone call this evening, because Jamie insisted on hearing Dani's voice before bed. It was beautiful and emotional. She wondered if it bothered Jamie as much as it bothered her that they wouldn't be spending Christmas together. 

-

Christmas Eve. Dani spent the morning making vodka jelly shots. Red and green jelly, in the spirit of Christmas and all. She had been on the phone to Becca most of the time, who knows exactly how to cheer her up. She was feeling more of the Christmas spirit this morning. She made sure to eat plenty during the day, because she planned on getting so drunk that she wouldn't remember her own name this evening. That should help the heartache, surely. 

She took a trip to the shop for a bottle of wine, a bottle of rum and a pack of cigarettes. She got herself ready then. A red velvet dress complete with white fur lining along the hem, black belt with a big silver buckle, black boots, white stockings and of course the red santa hat. Sure, it was a little _slutty_ some might say, but she felt good in it. She kept her blonde hair down under the hat, finished the look with a red lipstick, and as promised she snapped a picture to send to Jamie.

_To: Jamie [16_ _.56pm]_

_Wish you were here._

_._

_tdp239.jpeg_

She put her phone in the pocket of the red dress and headed back to the kitchen. She put her long coat on, to try to keep as much warmth as possible. A car beeps outside and she knows its Owen to pick her up. She grabs the alcohol, the vodka jelly shots and heads out, locking up behind her. 

Of course Owen is dressed as Santa. The fake belly and white beard included. He looks comical. In his house and in full view, Dani almost falls over laughing. She can't help but think about how much Jamie would love this, if only to poke fun at him. Becca and Peter are already there. Becca meets her at the door with a big cuddle and a kiss on the cheek. They're dressed in Elf outfits, quite cute actually. He's still a prick, though, as Jamie would say. 

"Dani!" Becca exclaims as she hugs her friend. "Lets get drunk." 

Dani laughs and hands her stuff to Owen. She takes off her coat.

"Holy shit! You look _smoking!"_ Becca shouts.

"Thank you, ma'am." Dani tips her hat and gives a little courtesy with a smile. 

They head to the kitchen, leaving Peter with Owen. Hannah is already in the kitchen, fixing the table with the food Owen had prepared.

"Dani, you look lovely." Hannah says. "Something came for you earlier. By special delivery with instructions to leave it outside. It's in the garden, darling." Hannah smiles, glancing to Becca quickly and back to Dani. 

Dani raises an eyebrow, looking at the two women infront of her. "What?" 

Hannah nods towards the door. Dani walks out and the two don't follow. It's cold outside, snow covering the ground and making it look lighter than it actually is. She looks around and sees nothing, wondering if this is some kind of trick.

"Hey, Poppins." She hears a voice behind her. 

_Jamie's_ voice. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've all enjoyed this. I really enjoyed writing it actually.   
> Seriously love all your comments, thank you again for the support! 
> 
> Chapter title from: Lady A - Need You Now


	15. shove your kiss straight through my chest

_"Hey, Poppins."_

Dani stills. Her entire body frozen in time as Jamie's voice rings through her head. She thinks she is imagining it. It couldn't possibly be real. She turns on the spot slowly, snow crunching under her boots.

And sure enough. Jamie is there. Leaning against the wall, hands in the pockets of her jeans. 

"Oh my god." Is all Dani manages.

Jamie steps forward slowly. 

Dani doesn't waste any more time, she closes the gap between them, one hand in Jamie's hair and she kisses her. Hard, perfectly signifying how much she has missed her.

Jamie smiles into the kiss, her hands around Dani's waist. They stay this way for a few moments, kissing eachother. Then Jamie pulls back, resting her forehead against Dani's. 

"Surprise, baby." Jamie whispers. 

Dani smiles and let's out a laugh. She can't help the tear that escapes her left eye, she's just so damn happy. Jamie doesn't bring attention to it, she just wipes it away with her thumb and kisses the wet skin gently. 

"What d-... how are you here?" Dani asks quietly. 

"You didn't think I'd miss Christmas with you, did you?" 

"But work. I thought that you would be there until today at least and then the travel back and.." 

"Turns out my client was _very_ understanding when I explained that my girlfriend would have to spend Christmas alone if I wasn't back." 

Dani gasped. Her heart skipped and she suddenly forgot how to breathe. 

"That is.. if you'll have me?" Jamie asked in a shy kind of way. 

Dani nodded and she finally exhaled. She kissed Jamie on the lips once. "Yes." She smiled into another kiss. "Yes, yes." She repeated before pulling Jamie in close, her lips parting and meeting Jamie's tongue with her own. She kissed her like she would never kiss again, like this was the end of the fucking world and the only thing that mattered was this connection. 

Except it wasn't the end of the world and she needed to breathe. She pulled back and sighed, her smile sure as hell covering her entire face.

She looked just behind Jamie, to the window of the house. Where all her friends stood peering out, smiling happily. 

"Did _they_ know about this?" 

Jamie turned to see what she was talking about, then back to Dani. "Uh.. yeah. They knew."

Dani scowled up at the window and heard Owen say. "Shit, we've been rumbled!" And they all scattered. 

Dani laughs. "God I've been such a bitch all week too." 

Jamie smiled back at her, leaning in a little. "I know." She winks and then laughs and Dani can't feel anything other than butterflies in her stomach. 

"Also," Jamie says, taking a step back. "This.." she looks Dani up and down. "Is fucking hot." 

Dani bites her lip. She pulls on Jamie's hand to walk back towards the door, but she stops, looks over her shoulder and, "You should see whats underneath." 

-

Christmas eve was always so much better than Christmas day for Dani. She would get the chance to do more stuff _she_ wanted to. Usually she spent the day with Owen, Hannah and Becca, then the evening would be spent at Eddie's moms where they would stay over.

But this Christmas eve, well, she felt like she was experiencing the magic of Christmas for the first time in her life. The evening filled with good food, alcohol, laughter, _Jamie_. They spent most of the time glued together, cherishing eachothers company. 

However. Since the moment she realised Jamie was actually here, she had these seriously _naughty_ thoughts. So when she looks over at Jamie from the other side of the kitchen, and she watches as she takes a drag of her cigarette, as she leans back against the door frame of the back door and exhales a plume of smoke into the night air, she has to ground herself. 

Jamie looks over at her and Dani bites her lip, giving Jamie a look, a look that perfectly explains what she is thinking in explicit detail. This look, together with the way she dips her tongue into the shot glass of vodka jelly she is holding in her hand, has Jamie holding her breath.

She does the shot, turning her gaze now back to Becca and Hannah who were talking about something to do with Paris.

Dani knew what she was doing, so when she felt Jamie's arms slide around her waist from behind, she smirked. 

"Time to go?" Jamie whispered. 

Dani looked down at the watch on her wrist. It's just gone 10pm. They'll be spending all day tomorrow here anyway so yes. Yes it is time to go. 

-

The front door had barely shut before Dani has Jamie pushed up against it, their mouths locked in a hungry embrace. Dani considered her options, she could have Jamie right here on the cold laminate in her hallway or, "bedroom.. now." She speaks between kisses. 

Jamie pushes off the door, holding into Dani and guiding them towards the bedroom, all the while kissing her. 

Somewhere along the way, Dani's coat was thrown from her body, as was Jamie's shirt. They stumbled clumsily into the bedroom, chuckling as they went. 

Inside the room, Dani kisses Jamie a little more gently, then bites her bottom lip with some force. The brunette groans and digs her nails into Dani's back. 

Since they started seeing eachother back in October, they hadn't been able to keep their hands off eachother and Dani had learnt what Jamie likes. 

Like how much it turns her on when Dani takes the lead.

Like how she moans when Dani breathes into her ear.

Like how she _really_ enjoys it when Dani tells her what to do. 

"Undress me." Dani whispers into Jamie's ear. 

Jamie literally fucking _growls_. She kisses Dani, her tongue grazing her bottom lip. Dani hums lightly, the anticipation is killing her. Jamie spins her around and sinks her teeth into the bare skin on her shoulder, nipping and then soothing with kisses. She pulls down the zip at the back of Dani's dress and it falls down her legs. She steps out of it and turns to face Jamie. 

"Christ, Poppins." 

Jamie's reaction is better than she could have ever imagined. She watches as Jamie takes in the view, a glisten in her wide eyes. Dani is wearing a matching red bra and thong set, red suspenders with the clips holding up the white stockings that begin half way up her thigh and she still has her black boots on. 

Dani presses her body against Jamie's, her breathing is heavy and her heart is fucking pounding. She is positive that Jamie can feel it against her chest. 

  
"Bet you're glad you came home now, huh?" Dani teases.

Jamie laughs. "Are you joking? I'm never fucking leaving again." 

Jamie's hands slide down Dani's back. As she reaches the small of her back, Dani grabs her hands and stops them. "Not yet." 

Jamie raises her eyebrows. "What do y-" 

Dani cuts her off by pushing her back onto the bed. "You don't get to touch. Not yet. Take off your clothes" 

Jamie smirks. She sits up on the bed and takes off her shoes, then her jeans. Dani stands close by, her hand in Jamie's hair pulling it gently. When Jamie is only in her underwear, Dani sits in her lap and rests her arms on Jamie's shoulders. 

"I was going to save this for when you were back.." Dani references her underwear. "But then I thought.. you would be all the way in Ohio. Alone." She leans in and kisses Jamie's cheek. "So, I was going to.. send you a picture." She whispers.

Jamie inhales deeply and Dani can feel her hands wandering again. She grabs Jamie's wrists and entwines their fingers, pushing her down on her back and holding her there. "I said no touching." 

Jamie nods up at her and Dani loves the way she can control the situation like this, she has Jamie completely at her mercy. 

Dani grinds her hips into Jamie. "If you don't do as you're told, you won't get to touch at all." She kisses her lips once. "And I really... _really.._ want you to touch me." She kisses her again and Jamie moans into her mouth. 

Dani kneels up, signalling for Jamie to move further up the bed, which she does. Dani reaches behind Jamie and unclips her bra and throws it accross the room. She pushes Jamie back down with one hand, keeping pressure on her shoulder. Her other hand cups a breast and her mouth follows, licking the nipple and sucking a little. Jamie moans and her hips buck upwards. 

Dani lifts her head up, smiles and moves her hand from Jamie's breast down her stomach, her fingers slip under the waistband of her boxers and into the wet heat between Jamie's legs. 

"Fuck, Jamie." Dani gasps, her mouth open.

Jamie bites down on her lip, her hands gripping the duvet. She stares into Dani's eyes, pleading, begging and Dani loves it. 

"You want it?" Dani asks.

"Yes, baby. I want it." Jamie says. It's almost a whine.

Dani hums and presses two fingers into Jamie's clit, slowly circling. She quickens the pace, watching as Jamie wriggles beneath her. She dips her fingers lower, pressing into the entrance. Jamie is _so_ wet. Her fingers glide so easily inside her and Jamie moans loudly. 

"These need to be off." Dani says, using her other hand to tug at the boxers.

Jamie nods and slides them down. Dani helps guide them off her legs and then turns her attention back to her fingers that are still inside her. 

"Dani, please..." 

Dani smirks. She loves it when Jamie asks. Begs. She obliges, pushing her fingers in deeper and watching as Jamie's head falls back onto the bed, her hands gripping the duvet so hard that her knuckles turn white. 

Dani leans down and kisses her, biting her lip gently before meeting Jamie's tongue with her own. They delve into a deep kiss and Dani pulls her fingers back before pushing them back in hard, curling them. Jamie moans into the kiss, her legs spreading further apart to allow for more movement. Dani knows how hard it must be for Jamie not to be touching her, oh how she knows she likes to touch. 

They continue kissing for a moment before they have to breathe and the second Dani's mouth leaves Jamie's, the gardener is moaning, cursing and pulling the fabric of the bed sheets over her mouth as Dani continues to fuck her. 

She knows Jamie is close, she can see it in her face and it only spurs her on. She leans in and plants kisses along her collarbone and up to her neck. 

"Fuck.. Dani.. don't stop.. I'm coming.." Jamie moans breathlessly. 

Dani continues, wrapping her lips around one of her nipples now and licking. Seconds later, Jamie crashes hard. Her hands find Dani's back and nails dig in. Dani didn't mind now, she had succeeded her mission and was now kissing Jamie's mouth as she rode out her orgasm with her. Her hand slowed and Jamie's body twitched a couple of times and the only sound in the room now was their heavy breathing. 

Dani removed her fingers slowly and sat up on Jamie's lap. She looked down at her, one hand resting on Jamie's stomach, her other hand by her side, she can still feel Jamie dripping from her fingers. Her hips grind into Jamie and she can feel the friction against her own centre. 

Jamie looks up at her. "Jesus." She pushes her hips up against Dani. 

It's not often that Dani takes the lead like that, so forcefully anyway, and she could tell Jamie enjoyed it. She could see in her eyes, they're dark, dilated, _fucking_ smoldering. 

Dani continues to move her hips, her breath catching each time she feels friction in just the right place. She digs her nails into Jamie's stomach and lifts her other hand, putting the two fingers she had inside Jamie into her mouth. 

Jamie gasped and Dani smiled in response. 

" _Now.._ you can touch me." Dani whispered as she removed her fingers from her mouth. 

Jamie, with her strong arms and even stronger will, flips Dani over on the bed. She hovers above her, staring down into her eyes. "You really are something else, Dani." She slides down her body and spreads her legs as far as they will go. 

Dani moans in anticipation as Jamie runs her fingers up her thigh, under the straps of her suspenders. She pulls on it so it snaps against Dani's skin. Dani thinks that usually that would hurt but fuck, she is just so turned on that it's only pleasure she feels, and so she bites down on her lip. 

"Oh.. you like that?" Jamie says and snaps it again. 

"Mm." Dani nods. 

Jamie slides her hands under Dani and pulls down her thong from under the suspender belt. She slides them off her legs and throws them to one side. "The rest can stay on." She smirks up at Dani, before leaning down and kissing her inner thigh. 

Dani pushes her body up towards Jamie, begging to feel more and Jamie agrees. She puts one of Dani's legs on her shoulder and lowers her face to between her legs. 

"Yes, Jamie. Fuck." Dani's vision blurs as she feels Jamie's tongue on her clit and she already knows she won't last long. 

Jamie stops with her tongue and moves back up her body. Stretching Dani's leg up higher over her shoulder. She looks down into Dani's eyes and licks her lips. "You taste so good." She kisses her neck and Dani can feel fingers tracing her clit now. 

Dani's finger nails dig into Jamie's back, begging for more. Jamie pushes two fingers inside slowly and Dani moans, her eyes rolling back and nails scratching accross Jamie's shoulder blades. She knows it was too rough, but it was well received as Jamie growled again, pushing harder into her. 

"Tell me what you want." Jamie whispers into her ear. 

Dani moans and her entire body tingles. She wants everything. She wants Jamie to fuck her, make her scream and she wants it, "Hard."

Dani wasn't even sure if she liked rough sex, but Jamie is fucking her fast and hard now and her teeth are biting into her shoulder and Dani is _fucking_ _screaming._ There's something so gentle about it at the same time, with Jamie soothing the bitten areas with tongues and kisses and looking at Dani carefully, making sure it's still okay. 

When Jamie's thumb circles her clit for the fourth or fifth time, Dani feels her entire world implode, her nails digging deeper into Jamie's skin and her name falling from her mouth as she comes.

Jamie holds her, letting Dani's leg drop from her shoulder and lowering her body to feel skin on skin. 

Dani pants, her hands make their way into Jamie's hair and she pulls her in, kissing her swollen lips gently. She lets the final waves wash over her, holding tightly onto Jamie's body. 

"Oh my god.." Jamie slumps herself down beside Dani and tries to catch her breath. 

Dani turns on her side to face Jamie. "Merry Christmas." She smiles. 

Jamie smiles back at her and pulls the covers over them. They curl up close and just lay there. Dani isn't sure how long its been, but she is pretty certain that Jamie is asleep. She nuzzles her face into Jamie's neck and breathes in deep.

She thinks it's safe. 

So with the very lightest of whispers..

"I love you." 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't going to write smut this chapter but I couldn't help myself. Course a little bit of fluff too cause I can't help myself there either. 
> 
> I am considering the next chapter being the last. Not 100% sure yet. I do have an idea for another multi chapter though. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! Appreciate all your support and comments. You're all amazing.
> 
> Chapter title from: In This Moment - Adrenalize


	16. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is it guys. The last chapter is here.
> 
> Although..
> 
> I'm leaning towards writing about the Vegas trip. Let me know what you think of that.

**CHRISTMAS DAY**

-

Dani opens her eyes on Christmas morning and a wave of peace washes over her. She takes a deep breath in and smiles to herself, remembering the events of the night before. Jamie had come back. They had and incredible night together. Dani had whispered that she loves her girlfriend into her neck as she slept. It was a weight off, it seemed.

At some point during the night she stripped herself of the red underwear and snuggled back in to Jamie. She felt the cold air sting her skin as she turned over in the bed, only to find the space next to her empty. She sits up, holding the covers up to her chest. She hears the faint sound of music in the living room. 

Dani stands up, slipping on some underwear, a pair of sweatpants and a band tshirt of Jamie's. She walks down the hall with her arms folded across her torso, trying to keep the warmth in. 

Inside the living room, the fire is going and the smell of burning wood is welcoming and the heat radiating from it is greatly appreciated. 

Jamie is sat on the sofa, a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. She must sense Dani's presence behind her as she turns and looks. Dani melts into the smile she receives. Jamie stands immediately, throwing her book onto the sofa and placing her cup on the coffee table. 

"Mornin', Poppins." She says as she pulls Dani in by the waist, her lips pressing into her cheek gently.

Dani smiles and holds Jamie. "Good morning." She whispers. 

Jamie grabs her hand and walks her to the kitchen. "I made you a pot of coffee." She lets go of Dani's hand and grabs a cup. "And when you're ready, I'll make breakfast." 

Dani sighs happily and takes Jamie's hand again and pulls her in. "Merry Christmas, Jamie." 

Jamie laughs lightly. "You too, baby." 

The next hour or so consists of Dani showering, getting herself dressed and fixing her hair. She thinks for a brief moment that Jamie might not have been asleep when she spoke those 3 words last night, but surely she would have said something by now if she had heard? She then thinks about her mom and makes a mental note to send her a text later. 

When she returns to the living room, Jamie had gotten herself dressed, having showered whilst Dani was still in bed. She looked amazing. Skin tight black jeans and a red and black flannel shirt. So simple and so _Jamie_. Dani opted for a burnt orange body suit that clung to her skin and disappeared beneath dark blue jeans. 

"Wow." Jamie gasped as she caught sight of her. "Dressing to kill today are you?" 

Dani blushed and bit her lip. "Another new addition to my wardrobe." 

Jamie approached her and ran her fingers along the ribbed material of the top. It has long sleeves and the neckline scoops, showing her collarbones. Jamie leans down and kisses the skin there, then traces her lips up her neck and towards her ear. "I like it." 

Dani shivers and a quiet moan escapes her lips. She covers it up with a giggle and wraps her arms around Jamie. "I was hoping you would." 

Jamie nods into her neck and then traces kisses along her jawline, meeting her lips and kissing her softly. Dani pulls back first because if she continues, they likely won't end up leaving the house at all. 

"Mm. You taste like tea." She says and Jamie laughs. 

"You taste like toothpaste."

"I got you something." Dani says quietly. "I know I said I wouldn't but." 

"I got you something, too." Jamie responds as she backs away. 

Dani raised her eyebrows. She really wasn't expecting anything given that Jamie doesn't celebrate Christmas normally, and she honestly thought she would be grovelling by now and trying to convince Jamie to accept her gift.

Dani reaches under the tree and pulls a box out and hands it to Jamie. They sit on the sofa together and Dani nervously taps her fingers on her legs.

"You once had a bouquet of flowers sent to me at work.." Dani begins to explain as Jamie opens the paper. "And they were the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen." She continues as Jamie carefully lifts the top of the box open. "I knew you well enough at that point to know there was a meaning behind them, but I wasn't brave enough to ask." 

Jamie looked up at her at this point, surprised, Dani thinks.

"So I looked it up." Dani continues. "More specifically.." she stops talking as Jamie lifts a silver chain from the box. "The lavender rose." 

Hanging on the end of the ball chain is a small pendant. Thin black steel framing clear resin where a small dried lavender petal lies buried in the middle. 

Jamie is silent. Dani swallows as she tries to read the reaction. Her heart is fucking pounding.

"You don't have to wear it. I just wanted to-." She stops talking and looks down at the floor. "I kept the rose. I dried it out and took a petal and had this made." She explains and looks back up to Jamie, who is still staring at her. "You do-" 

Dani is cut off by Jamie's kiss. The necklace entwined in her fingers as she places her hand in Dani's hair and kisses her. She's smiling. Dani thinks that must mean she likes it. When Jamie pulls away, she looks down at the necklace again and back to Dani. 

"I love it." She says quietly. "It's perfect, Dani." 

She unclips the chain and wraps it around her neck. The small pendant sits just below the dip between her collarbones. Jamie looks up at Dani, reaching out and taking hold of one hand. 

"You like it?" Dani asks, a little apprehensive.

Jamie smiles. "I fuckin' love it." She holds the pendant between her thumb and index finger. "I've never.." she stops for a moment. "You have no idea how much. Thank you."

Dani smiles and takes a deep breath. "Phew. I was nervous." She chuckles a little. 

Jamie pulled Dani's hand tilted her head. "Come here." 

Dani slid along the sofa and allowed Jamie to pull her into her, ending up sat on her lap facing her. Jamie cupped her face and pulled her down, kissing her lips and then moves her hand so she is stroking her back. Dani moans quietly into the kiss. She feels Jamie's nails dragging softly down her tshirt and her hips move involuntarily. She smiles and then laughs a little, breaking the kiss. 

"You're gonna have to stop that." Dani whispers. 

Jamie kisses her again, pushing her hips up into Dani, seemingly ignoring the comment. Her tongue dips into Dani's mouth and well, she can't say no. Jamie's hand makes its way into Dani's hair and she pulls gently. Dani's head falls back and Jamie kisses her neck now.

"Jamie.. fuck.." Dani pants. 

She feels Jamie smirk and she pulls away. "You're doing that on purpose!" She laughs. 

Jamie shrugs her shoulders "That's just how I say thank you, Poppins."

Dani shakes her head. "Hopefully not to everyone who gives you something nice." 

"Can't say anyone has ever given me anything as nice as this to be honest." Jamie responds, once again holding onto the pendant around her neck. 

Dani's heart swells and she can't help but lean in and kiss Jamie's cheek.

"Your turn then, eh?" Jamie beams up at her. One hand disappears down the side of the sofa and she lifts up a bag and hands it to Dani.

Dani, who is still sat on top of Jamie, gives a smile like she is both happy and nervous. "You really didn't have to.." 

Jamie smirks. "Listen, it took everything for me _not_ to buy you a puppy. You should be proud of me." 

Dani laughs and then pouts. She looks down at the bag and pulls out an envelope.

"Open that last." Jamie instructs. 

Dani nods and puts it back in the bag, before placing her hand back in the bag and pulling out a box. She looks quizzically at Jamie for a moment before opening the top of the box. She pulls a cup out of it that reads **"** _ **I'm with the sexy Gardener."** _With an arrow pointing up.

Dani laughs and pushes Jamie's arm playfully. "That is hilarious."

"Found that in the garden centre in Ohio and couldn't help myself." Jamie laughs back. 

"It's kind of perfect, huh?" Dani stares at the cup, a massive smile on her face. 

Jamie takes the cup from her hand and places it on the sofa beside them. "Okay, now the next thing." 

Dani nods and takes out the envelope. She looks at Jamie who appears to be trying to slow her breathing. Dani opens the envelope and pulls out two plane tickets. She looks up at Jamie, who is raising a brow and giving a closed mouth smile. 

"So remember that night we spent on my couch after the school disco?"

Dani nodded. 

"We talked for hours and you said the one place you wanted to go was.."

"Vegas." Dani finished. She looked down at the tickets.

"Vegas. Casino's, Shows, Extraterrestrial Highway.." Jamie grabbed Dani's hand, entwining their fingers together. "I've hired a truck, booked you two weeks off work, booked the hotel. I just need to get you to agree to come with me now." She laughed the end of the sentence off. 

Dani can't hide the over excited grin on her face. She leans in and kisses Jamie, a happy giggle at the same time. "I would love to." She sits back up and looks at the tickets. "I can't believe you remembered." 

Jamie shrugged. "I remember just about everything you've ever told me, Poppins."

Dani struggles not to blurt out the only three words she wants to say, so instead she bites the inside of her cheek and hopes the look in her eyes tells Jamie what she truly feels.

"Thank you. I can't wait."

-

Dani and Jamie walk through the town hand in hand on their way to Owen and Hannah's. They stroll leisurely and Dani talks about what it was like to grow up around here. Where she used to take dance lessons as a little girl. The bakery her grandparents used to own where she learnt how to bake. Jamie listened intently to every story and Dani noticed how she stroked her hand with her thumb. 

When they reached Owen's, just before Dani knocked, Jamie pulled her back. 

"Poppins?"

Dani turned to face her. She was surprised to see that Jamie looked nervous. She was about to open her mouth to ask if everything was okay but instead Jamie kissed her. Kissed her hard, and then soft, her hands either side of Dani's face. She pulled back after a moment and looked deep into Dani's eyes, resting their foreheads together. 

"I just.." Jamie sighed and wrapped her arms around Dani's waist. "Dani.." 

Dani can see Jamie's chest rising and falling heavily. 

"Before we go in. I need you to know.." She closes her eyes for a second before looking back at Dani, a small smile on her lips. "I love you, too." 

Dani gasps. _Too?_ It takes a second for her to realise that Jamie did hear her the night before. She doesn't care, she kisses her. "You heard me?" 

"Yeah.. I heard you." Jamie smiles and kisses Dani again. 

Before they get to speak further, the front door they are standing infront of swings open. Owen and Hannah stand there, santa hats on and massive smiles on their faces. 

"Hey! Get in here love birds!" Owen shouts.

Dani doesn't let go of Jamie's hand as they enter the house, not until she absolutely has to because Owen is hugging them both and so is Hannah. 

Dani follows Hannah into the kitchen where there is food _everywhere._ Owen is preparing Christmas Dinner so it smells like turkey and stuffing. It's delicious. Dani looks around, taking in the sight and smiling happily. 

Owen comes back from discussing something with Jamie in the hall and wraps his arms around Dani. "Vegas baby!" He sings and Dani laughs at him.

"That's right. I finally get to use my poker face." Dani looks seriously at Owen with absolutely no expression. 

He steps back. "Damn.. you're gonna be rich." 

She laughs and then hums as she feels Jamie's arms wrap around her waist from behind. She already knows this is the best Christmas she has ever had. 

Owen heads to the kitchen and returns with a pie. The biggest pie Dani thinks she has ever seen. The smell of apple fills the room and Owen shows it to them, decorated with holly in pastry.

"Merry Crust-mas!" 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for coming with me on this journey. I've had the greatest time writing this and you all made it so much better with your comments. 
> 
> There are other ideas running through my mind which I'm hoping to start writing soon, so this isn't the last you'll see of me! 
> 
> Besides, there's always the chance of additions to this story in the future.


End file.
